You Ain't Santa

Both boys were struggling to eat.  Dan looked at the guys, "Sons, if Mrs. Belton had bad news, she would be here by now.  All she said is that it was important.  Now eat or we'll start feeding you as if you were babies."

That last statement got their attention.  Ryan looked at Dan, "Daddy, you wouldn't really do that, would you?"

Dan continued to eat, "Only if I have to, now eat."

We had just finished eating when the doorbell rang.  I stood to go answer, but the front door opened, and Will and Brandon walked in. Brandon announced, "We came to kidnap two young men and two bicycles.  We need to make sure the tires are properly inflated and then we're going to go to the park and practice on the bike path.  We'll have them back in time for you to change their diapers."

The boys looked at Dan and me. I nodded yes, "You two go make sure that Will and Brandon don't get into trouble, but first you should probably go to the bathroom and make sure you take your helmets."

When Nate and Ryan had gone, "Guys, you are lifesavers.  The guys are worried about why Will's Mother is coming to talk to us."

Will started to say something, but Nate and Ryan returned and Nate announced, "We're ready to go."

We watched as they took the bikes to Brandon's truck.  The other two guys already had their bikes on the truck.  Brandon meticulously secured the four bikes while Will made sure that the boys buckled into the rear seat of the truck's cab.

After the four guys pulled away, I started to take care of the dishes, "Dan, why don't you call a pediatrician as you said you were going to do and make an appointment for our sons?  I have a feeling that everything is going to work out just fine."

Dan finished talking on the phone while I was taking care of the dishes.  He came and put his arms around me and started to manipulate the zipper of my slacks.   I pushed him away, "Danny, remember we're expecting company.  About the time something interesting would be about to happen, Mrs. Belton would arrive."

Dan pouted, "You're no fun anymore.  I guess our sons are more important to you than me."

I turned around, "Dan, you know that's not true.  We have to face it.  Our lifestyle has probably been changed forever.  Were you able to get an appointment for the boys to see a pediatrician?"

He kissed me, "Yes darling, I was able to get an appointment to see Doctor Lawrence Caruthers, tomorrow morning at 9:30.  We need to be there at 9:15 to fill out the paperwork."

I was skeptical, "Dan, do you know this Lawrence Caruthers  person?"

"I know Larry only by his reputation.  I know who is, to see him, but I don't know him personally."

Our conversation was interrupted by the doorbell.  I was beginning to hate that stupid bell.  Dan went to answer the door and returned with Mrs. Belton.

Mrs. Belton looked around, "Where are Nathan and Ryan?"

I sighed, "Your son and nephew kidnapped them and their bicycles and were going to take them to the park to practice on their bikes."

Mrs. Belton smiled, "Guys, the boys' case is even more complicated than I thought.  I have been able to uncover some very interesting information.  I'm not at liberty to discuss the details just yet.  Now I have some things that we need to take care of.  First, we have a court hearing on Monday at two p. m. so that Kirk can adopt the boys.  Second, have you thought about having the boys have a checkup by a pediatrician?"

I pointed to Dan and he answered, "Yes, ma'am, I made an appointment for tomorrow with Dr. Larry Caruthers."

She smiled, "Great, Larry is one of the best in the city.  Next suggestion, I would recommend that you have a lawyer to represent you and the boys at the hearing.  Do you have one?"

Dan nodded, "Would my Dad count?  He doesn't live here, but he is scheduled to arrive tomorrow sometime and he is certified to practice in the state."

Mrs. Belton nodded in the affirmative, "Good, that makes it imperative that Dr. Richter be designated as the boys' father when we file for the adoption.  Guys, I'm sure you think I'm trying to manipulate you, but I'm really not.  My son told me in no uncertain terms that the boys needed to stay with you."

Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of a very excited Ryan, "Dads, come watch.  Me and Nate can ride without the little wheels on the bike.  Hi, Mrs. Swamp."

We walked to the front door and the two guys were indeed riding without their training wheels.  Will and Brandon were making sure that they were okay.  Nate looked at us, "Hi Grandma Belton.  Dads could you please open the garage door so we can put our bikes in the garage so we don't get the house dirty?"

Dan went to open the garage door.  Mrs. Belton turned to me, "It's very apparent to me that you two guys need to be the boys' dads."

The four younger guys came in the garage door.  Nathan didn't waste any words, "Mrs. Belton, you're not going to take us away, are you?"

She was so good.  She put her arms around the two boys, "No, the reason I was here was to make sure that you had a doctor's appointment and to tell your Dads know that you need to be in court on Monday afternoon.  I understand your grandparents are coming to visit, so it will be nice to have them see you be adopted."

The three visitors departed and Dan suggested, "Why don't we call your Granddad and Grandmother Thornton and ask them to bring my old train stuff?"

I went and got the phone, and Dan punched the number and put the phone on speaker.  "Hi Mom, we have some favors to ask of you and Dad."

Mrs. Thornton sounded skeptical, "What do you need us to do?"

Dan smiled, "Mom, it's nothing too drastic.  First, the boys got a model train set for Christmas.  We were wondering if you could possibly bring my old train things when you come tomorrow, so the guys can build a  super duper model railroad?"

I'm sure the answer even surprised Dan, "Good, then I won't have to donate them to the Goodwill.  Now what's the next problem."

Danny was laughing, "Mom, how can you be so mean?  Is Dad there?"

Dan's Mother was laughing, "I've had lots of practice being mean because of having a naughty son.   Yes, your Dad is here.  Just a minute, while I wake him.  He has his head in his coffee cup.  Tell Nate and Ryan we're looking forward to seeing them tomorrow, and yes, you can tell Kirkie that we're looking forward to seeing his ugly face."

The two boys were huddled against me.  They had puzzled looks on their faces.

Dad Thornton came on, "What do you mean, calling me in the middle of the afternoon?  I'm still nursing a hangover.  What are Ryan and Nathan doing?"

"Dad, they're standing here listening to you and Mother talking to me and they are cowering against Kirk.   Dad, I have a big favor to ask of you.  Would you be our legal counsel in court when Kirk adopts Ryan and Nathan?"

The immediate response was, "Dan, why are they being adopted by just Kirk?"

"Dad, think of the problem if you were to be representing your own son in court.  Besides this state does not recognize same sex couples as being eligible to adopt  a child.  I'll just stay in the background for now."

"But what do the boys think about all of this?"

Nate spoke into the speaker, "Granddad, it's not important who adopts us.  What is important is that Dad Dan and Dad Kirk love us.  That's what we want and need.  We just want someone to finally love us."

It was apparent that Mr. Thornton was shaken by Nate's comment, "I assume that was Nathan speaking.  Thank you for telling me how you feel.  Ryan how do you feel?"

Ryan was hesitant but moved to the phone, "Granddad, I feel safe for the first time in a long time except that Dad Dan threatened to feed us like a baby if we didn't eat our lunch.  Uncle Will and  Uncle Brandon taught us how to ride our new bikes without those little wheels."

I could tell Mr. Thornton was trying not to laugh, "Ryan, may I please talk to Dad Kirk?"

I turned off the speaker button, "Hi Dad, the boys are going to go help Dan.  What's up?"

"Kirk, your two sons are snake charmers for sure,  What is happening?  Is there anything I can do to prepare?"

"Dad, it's as if we are in a time warp at this point in time because neither Dan nor I have the slightest inkling of what is going to happen next.  By the way your son got fired and is out of work."

The explosion was deafening, "What do you mean he got fired?"

"Well he was fired from the Emergency Room and doesn't have to report to his new position as an assistant hospital administrator until January 3.  That means he'll be available to terrorize you and my parents who will be arriving on Sunday and take care of the boys and I can hibernate."

Dad Thornton responded, "Kirk, you are even harder to follow than your two sons.  We'll see you about three o'clock tomorrow. Hugs."

I went to see what my three guys were doing and they were unloading the van.  Dan and I carried the two futons to our bedroom while the boys carried the sleeping bags.  Dan looked at the boys, "I think we should test putting the two bags together to see if all four of us will fit in them."

It took us some time before we could find a space big enough to put them together in the bedroom.  We had to move a couple pieces of furniture in order to do it.  Once we had it almost together, I crawled in followed by the two boys and Dan was last and finished zipping it up after he crawled in.

I looked at the three guys, "Don't wake me until morning, please."

Ryan who was next to me complained, "But Daddy, we haven't had dinner yet."

I sat up, "Come on Nate, let's me and you go fix us some dinner while Ryan and Daddy Doctor put the sleeping bags away."

As Nate was climbing out of the sleeping bag, he shouted, "Don't worry Dad Dan, we'll make sure we have something that we can feed you."

Dan grabbed for Nate, but Nate was too fast.  He giggled, "Un Unh Dad, you can look, but you can't touch."

I looked at Dan and both of us started to laugh.  Nate and I went to the kitchen and washed our hands.  "Nate, how does spaghetti with meatballs sound?"

His eyes lit up, "Yum, it's been a long time since Ryan and me had spaghetti."

I cheated and pulled out a jar of prepared spaghetti sauce and a package of frozen Italian meatballs. I could hear Dan and Ryan coming down the stairs.  Ryan smelled the sauce, "Daddy Santa, that smells like sghetti."

I hugged him, "Nate said you like sghetti."

Ryan turned to Nate, "It's really hard to fold the sleeping bags and fit them in their bag."

The conversation was interrupted by the phone.  Dan was standing almost next to the phone, "This is Dan Thornton. … Hi Dr. Meyers, let me get Kirk for you."

My mind was whirling, 'Why is the Dean calling me at 4:30 on a Thursday afternoon?' "Good afternoon Dean Meyers."

The voice asked, "Kirk, would you be available to meet with me tomorrow afternoon at 1:30?  I have something that I need to discuss with you."

My mind was really whirling now, 'What did he want to discuss with me?'  "Sir, I have nothing scheduled.  I'll see you at 1:30 tomorrow."

Dr. Meyers responded, "Great, see you then?"

I turned to Dan, "What's so important that the Dean would want to see me on Friday afternoon?  I'm surprised that he is even working."

"Kirk, relax.  He may just want to talk about your schedule for next semester."

I looked at my three guys, "That means we are going to have to work hard to clean the house after the boys' doctors' appointment tomorrow."

There was an instant reaction.  Ryan looked at us, "Dads, why do we gotta go to see a doctor?  Daddy Dan is a doctor.  Why can't he take care of us?  We aren't going to have to get any shots are we?  They hurt."

Dan put his arms around both boys.  "Mrs. Belton thinks that you need to see a doctor who sees healthy children.  Doctor Caruthers is a pediatrician, and Mrs. Belton thinks that he is one of the best.  We'll just have to wait and see what he thinks you need.  You need to set the table while I help Daddy Santa."

As we were sitting down, Nate took Dan's silverware and started to put a dish towel into the neck of Dan's shirt, "We don't want you to get your shirt dirty, Daddy, when you eat your spaghetti with your fingers, do we?"

Dan went to grab Nate but we backed away, "Un unh Dad, remember you can only look and not touch."

Nate handed Dan his silverware and the boys were chowing down.  It was a little different scene than from lunchtime.  I looked at the boys, "I think this is probably a good time to talk about the closed door policy."

Both boys looked at me with a look that indicated that they had no idea what I might be talking about.  Ryan asked, "What does that mean?"

"It means that if a door is closed, you need to knock if you would like to talk to whoever is in the room.  It also means that when you go to the bathroom, you should lock the bathroom door if you don't want someone to come in.  That is going to be especially true when the grandparents are here."

Ryan frowned, "Daddy, that seems like a silly policy.  I don't care if people see me."

Dan tried to help, "Guys, it might seem silly now, but when you get older, there will be times when you want to be alone.  Many adults wouldn't want us to see them without any clothes.  It is better if we do what Daddy Kirk suggests.  That way we won't upset anyone."

Nate nodded, "Okay Dads, we'll start tonight."

When everyone was finished, I was pleased to see that the boys brought their own plates and utensils to the sink.  Nate looked at me, "Dad, if you show me how to do it, I'll put the dishes in the dishwasher.  At the home, we had to wash and dry the dishes by hand."

Ryan started to yawn, "Dads, I'm getting tired."

Dan picked him up, "Let's get you guys ready for bed.  You can sit on you new futons and watch The Disney Channel after you take a bath or a shower."

Nate looked at him, "Dad Dan, can we please take a shower in your bathroom?  It's neater than the one in our bathroom."

"I don't know why not."

When I got to the bedroom, the guys were sitting watching TV.  It didn't take long for Ryan to start nodding, so I picked him up and carried him to his bed.  He was alert enough that he hugged me as tight as he could, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Son.

I was about to walk back to our bedroom when Nate was coming in.  He put his arms around me and hugged me, "I love you, Dad."

I leaned down and kissed him, "Nate, I love you too.  Do you want me to close the door or leave it open?"

"Why don't you leave it open.  It's only the four of us, tonight."

Dan and I had just sat down on the sofa when the phone rang.  We   looked at each and I thought to myself, 'Who the heck is calling now?'

I went and got the phone and put it on speaker, "This is Kirk Richter, how can I help you?"

"Dr. Richter, this is Bruce Holloway.  I understand that you have Nathan and Ryan living with you and are planning to adopt them if you can.  Is that correct?"

I looked at Dan, "Yes, and we have a hearing on Monday to decide the issue.  Are you related to the boys?"

"I know about the hearing and yes, I'm the boys biological uncle.  It is imperative that I meet with you and the boys before the hearing.  I need to talk to you, Doctor Thornton and Mrs. Belton in person.  Unfortunately, I can not be in the city until sometime late Sunday afternoon.  Could we possibly meet then since hearing is at two on Monday?"

This is getting scary, "Mr. Holloway, we can meet then.  Why don't you come to dinner since both sets of parents are going to be here then to meet the boys."

Mr. Holloway asked, "Is you condo handicapped accessible?"

I answered, "Yes."

"Great. I'll see you about 5:30 on Sunday and I drink scotch."

The phone went dead.  I looked at Dan, "Danny, why is everything a mystery.  First, Mrs. Belton knows things she can't discuss; second, the Dean needs to see me and now this mysterious uncle appears out of nowhere and needs to talk to us.  How did he even know about you?"

Editor's Notes:

Doo dee doo doo, doo dee doo doo. Sounds like The Twilight Zone!  There are too many things all happening at once, aren't there?  I wonder what is going to happen.  I suppose we are going to have to wait for the next chapter before we find out. Let's hope everything works out all right.

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher