Chilly Vine and the Soil Thief

"Blasted chilly vine and the soil thief are come'n." I heard the soft tender female voice and strange words but didn't have a clue what they meant.

I was trudging home, stifling the sobs that wanted to burst from my aching chest when the bizarre phrase made me pause. I had walked this path countless times past the supposedly haunted cottage and this was the first time I had ever heard or seen another person. Most people avoided this path, and that was fine by me.

Ahead of me was an elderly woman whose height was hidden to me as she crouched down to the ground and fingered some dirt near the hedge that surrounded the haunted ruin within. From my angle, she looked like a white-capped mound of gyrating cloth more than a person as she piddled about.

A pent-up sigh surged from her like a locomotive releasing steam and she stood. "Well... come into the house child... let's get you fixed up." The old woman eyed me from head to toe, turned, and walked to an opening in the hedge.

"You best hurry up before those cuts get infected." Then her voice seemed to flow on the wind and fade as she rounded the corner. The ancient creak of a screen door filled my stunned silence.

The imminent slam brought me to my senses and I wondered if maybe my schoolmates had hit me a little harder than usual. Maybe I had a concussion? I surely didn't remember anyone living here before.

A shiver ran up my spine as I walked toward the house and my bones ached with each step as I rounded the hedge. A little sympathy would be nice for a change, rather than the ridicule I was sure to receive from my father once I returned home.

"Stand up for yourself! If you fight back maybe they'd leave you alone!" He'd practically spit the words at me in contempt. I had heard them so many times before.

"Come in! Come in! Let's get you cleaned up." The old woman waved for me to enter as I climbed the steps to her front door.

To say the place was a dump would have been generous. The grass needed to be mowed, the hedges trimmed, and I began to wonder if the wood beneath my feet would hold my 113 pounds. The screen-door creaked in protest once again as I pulled it open and stepped inside.

It was October and I was glad to be out of the brisk winds that promised to bring winter in the coming months. The house didn't have the 'old people' smell I expected, but held the aroma of the season. Fresh soil and the tell-tale sweetness of recently harvested corn filled the air as if I weren't in a house at all.

"Take a seat while I get these herbs put together." She didn't even bother to turn around as she pulled different jars of unknown substances from the shelves that filled the left wall of her kitchen.

I let my backpack slide from my shoulder to the floor with a thump and sat down in one of the heavy wooden chairs that I hoped wasn't one she regularly used. Either the floor was uneven or the legs weren't quite right, because I found myself tilting from one side to the other listening to the subtle taps of wood against wood as I studied my surroundings.

It was a cramped space, to say the least, but I figured it might be perfect for a single person. Luckily, the interior of the house was in better condition than the dilapidated and fading wooden shingles that covered the outside. It was a décor that had been long since forgotten. Wallpaper showing different spices and herbs covered the walls. What might have once been a bright white background to each picture had since turned a sick tan with age.

"Alrighty then... let's have a look at ya." A loud clunk nearly sent me flying out of my chair as she sat a bowl of greenish 'something' down on the table.

"Calm down child. You've got nothing to fear from an old woman like me. My name is Pearl Brower, but I expect you to call me Pearl." She smiled and held out her hand as though she were waiting for me to give her something.

"Hi, I'm Jeremy Colms." I stared at her open hand and followed the lines in her palm as though I were studying a map.

"Well, I can't see your elbow from behind you so I need ya to help me out a bit." She chuckled and her body shook like a small earthquake had taken hold as a quiver traveled from head to toe.

From this angle, her blue and white sundress did little to hide the figure beneath but I was thankful for what little grace it did afford me. As I looked at her face, the most brilliant blue eyes stared back at me that I had ever seen. They weren't exactly what you might call 'wolf-eyes', but were more the color of a tropical lagoon that seems to have an endless depth that might swallow you whole. They were friendly and warm and the room suddenly seemed as comfortable as my bed on a cool morning when I snuggle just a little deeper to steal those last few moments of sleep.

It wasn't long before Pearl had cleaned and dressed my scrapes and bruises with her homemade remedy. She suspected I was 'Scrapping', as she called it, and I told her the tale of my daily role as the school's token punching bag.

I am shy, quiet, smart and small for the age of 15. There has never been anything exceptional about me or my medium brown hair and eyes or lithe frame. In high school, this can be a very painful combination, or at least it had been for me.

"You come back here tomorrow and I'll put you to work. Maybe we'll put a little muscle on that young body of yours. You best be off... the leaves are turned." She smiles and shooed me towards the door as I rose from my wobbly chair.

Chilly Weed... Soil Thief... Turned Leaves. I chuckled to myself as I walked home and was almost happy before a familiar dread crawled over my skin like thousand unseen insects.

I walked in our door expecting the same look of disappointment and disgust that usually greeted me, but instead found my parents staring at me as though I were some alien creature.

"What the hell have you been doing?" My mother gaped at me as she eyed where Pearl had tended to my injuries.

Before I could answer she fired out another question. "What have you been rolling in?"

"I was saying hello to our new neighbor Miss Brower. She asked me if I could help her after school with some yard work." For once I was happy it was my mother giving me the run through instead of my father.

"Well... I don't see why not. Probably be good for you. Just don't stay out too late. No telling what kind of trouble you'd get into." My father eyed me suspiciously and for a moment I thought my father almost smiled, but chances were he suspected another fight.

"Go get cleaned up for dinner." My mother nodded toward the stairs as she set a stack of plates on the kitchen table.

I didn't wait for more questions and tromped upstairs to the bathroom to clean up. When I finally managed to get the green 'goop' washed from my skin I found that it had done its job well. I wasn't just feeling better, I was completely healed. Now... normally I would have been grateful, but I had to wonder if this was going to make the jerks in school pound on me, even more, the following day. They loved to admire their handiwork, and now that there wasn't even the slightest hint of a fight, I'm sure they'd be extremely disappointed. Either way, I was definitely going to have to get the recipe for the 'goop'.

As luck would have it, I was able to disappear into the mass of departing students and avoid my regular pounding when the final bell signaled the end of the day. The town is nestled against a small wooded area which leads to Pearl's house and eventually to mine. What was once a dirt lane for farm equipment has been reclaimed by nature. All that remains is a narrow path that has been maintained more by deer and other animals rather than my own travels. Still... it keeps me from having to walk seven blocks out of my way and I can avoid the possibility of being cornered by all too eager Jocks wanting to prove their manhood.

I was two steps past the opening to Pearl's hedge and entertaining the notion of declining her offer for work when I heard her familiar voice.

"Blasted chilly vine!" I could see her familiar five-foot silhouette and flashes of a dingy pink

sundress through the thinning hedge.

Curiosity claimed my senses and I turned and walked back toward the opening to her yard. "Afternoon Pearl. How are you doing today?"

"Ahhh changed yer mind I see. Well good. Trim the hedges." With that, she bent over, snatched up an ancient, and later what I discovered to be an incredibly dull, pair of giant steel scissors.

The hedge that surrounded Pearl's home stood eight feet high and was about five feet deep. What it lacked in density it made up for in sheer bulk. The limbs were more like small tree trunks twisting at odd angles and a good inch thick. Three hours later, when I could barely move my arms and would have screamed at the thought to have to lift them over my head Pearl appeared from around the corner.

"Come on in the house for some tea before you ruin my hedge. Won't be long before you're chopping the shadows." Seconds later the screen door slammed and I knew she expected me to follow.

I would have been content to fall to the ground and just lay there for a few minutes, but a chair and some tea sounded even better.

"Pearl... What is chilly vine? And who is the soil thief?" I asked as she sat a delicate cup and saucer in front of me with a steaming stench of muddy brown liquid inside.

She chuckled as she sat in the chair on the other side of the table. We were barely three feet apart so I took care to move my feet beneath me so she might have more leg room. It was an awkward silence as we sipped our tea and stared into the candlelit shadows. I saw the occasional antique light switch on the wall, but she seemed content with just enough light to avoid a major injury.

"Well... it's too dark out now. You drink your tea and head on home. I'll show ya tomorrow. You come on by 'round 7." Before I could protest or finish my last swallow of mud tea she was at the door, and holding it open... waiting for me to go.

As I walked home, a strange warmth filled my chest and a numbness consumed my arms and legs. I felt almost giddy and was beginning to wonder if some of Pearl's herbs weren't exactly legal. Still, I was thankful for the relief. The idea of waking up at 7 am on a Saturday seemed obscene, but maybe I'd finally be able to understand some of what the old woman was saying.

The next day I finally learned what Chilly vine was. A weed.

"That there... in the dirt... When the spring thaw comes, and the summer fades, that there is the first and last to die. It chokes out the others like relatives who don't know when to go home after Sunday dinner." Pearl snarled as she ripped the intruder from her herb garden while I yawned and tried to wring the sleep from my eyes.

My alarm clock was a rude and ear-shattering villain, and yet I couldn't help but smile in my dopey sleep hazed state at such an obvious thing. It's chilly in the spring, and it's chilly in the fall. I almost hated to ask my next question, but I couldn't help myself.

"So... who's the soil thief?" The sun was peaking through the trees and was blinding me like flashbulbs in the darkness as the wind tussled leaves just enough for the sunlight to blaze through and into the still tender depths of an addled mind.

"Don't they teach you anything in school these days? The soil thief ain't a who... it's a what. The wind in the winter, and the rains in the spring steal away the good dirt when there ain't nothing green to keep it where it belongs. So get to rak'n up all them leaves. We'll need them to stop the soil thief." Her rear stopped its gyrations long enough for her to extend an arm and point at the rake on the porch.

We stopped at noon and feasted on what I was almost sure now was 'mud' tea and a plain cheese sandwich. No dressing, not grilled, just two slices of homemade bread and a slab of very sharp cheddar cheese between them. When I thought we would return to our work in the yard, Pearl surprised me by showing me the different herbs in her collection and began quizzing me with the pictures on the walls of her kitchen. Each had its purpose and way to be cultivated. The 'mud' tea... which I was thankful to learn... was actually a combination of Mugwort, Agrimony, and a few other ingredients I promised not to divulge. While it still stunk, and tasted worse, it did do wonders for aching muscles and what I later learned, building muscle.

My afternoons after school and weekends continued like this until the week of Halloween. My parents had forgotten my birthday the day before, the jocks caught me after school... and what was worse... the new kid in school whom I absolutely adored barely knew I existed. It was the last part that seemed to rip holes in my heart. I had pretty much come to terms with the fact that I'm gay, but the hopelessness of never finding someone to spend my life with was tearing me apart. I suppose it was this that prompted me to start prying into Pearl's past.

"Pearl... were you ever married?" My voice shook as I asked. We hadn't ever really talked about anything person before and for whatever reason, my nerve had left me.

"Yes... I am married and I wait for the day my James comes back home from the war. It's been such a long time..." Pearl turned and stared out the small window above her kitchen sink and her voice faded to a whisper.

I wasn't about to shatter her fantasy so I changed the subject. "Did you have any children?"

"Yes... James junior was born some five months after my James got called away. Fool boy up and ran off with the circus." Her voice quivered and what I had hoped might lighten her mood only seemed to darken it.

"I'm Gay!" I practically shouted the words and Pearl jumped. I was desperate to change the subject and panicked.

"Child! You trying to give an old woman a heart attack?" She took a couple of deep breaths as she patted her chest. "I'm glad you're happy."

"HuH? NO...you don't understand. I'm not happy... I'm... gay. I like guys." I couldn't believe I was saying this to her and felt my tears sting my eyes and burn their warm trails down my cheeks.

"Ahhh so they've gone and changed another word on me. Well of course ya do. You silly boy... love is a thing shared no matter what parts fit together." Pearl rose from her chair and leaned toward me across the table. She drew her finger along my cheeks and wiped away my tears. "Don't season your love with too much salt water, child."

I sniffed and tried to compose myself as she leaned back and took her seat. "So... what's his name?"

"Ted." I spluttered it out

"You bring him here to meet me tomorrow. I'd like to see the one that holds your heart in such a tight grip. It's getting late. You best be getting home." How the woman managed to move with such grace I don't know, but before I knew it she was at the door and ushering me into the fast approaching night.

It wasn't until I woke the next morning that I worried about how I might get Ted to talk to me or even consider visiting Pearl. It wasn't until I was rushing through the herd of students that I saw him.

"Hey... Hey Ted!" I waved hoping to get his attention.

When he turned to look at who was calling his name my brain and tongue went on revolt and refused to function. Ted started walking toward me and as he approached I stared into his eyes, eyes like Pearls, and was swallowed whole. When I thought my chest might burst I finally managed to speak.

"Hey... there's a quicker way home if you want to follow me. I have to stop by Pearl's house on the way. Wanna come?" The words that were once caught in my throat now spilled from my lips so fast I felt my face blush and I thought I was going to puke.

"uhh... okay. You're Jeremy right?" His eyes studied me and made me blush all the more.

My legs seemed to break loose from the concrete and we started walking towards the woods.

"So... why do those guys always pick on you?" Jeremy broke the silence with a question I really didn't want to answer.

"Because they can, I guess." The resentment and anger from my seemingly endless torture made my words short and biting.

"Hey... relax... I'm not them. I just don't understand why someone as big as you wouldn't just kick their ass!" Ted shrugged and seemed to pause as his gaze traveled the length of my body.

Again my cheeks were fire hot and I knew I was blushing. I guess I hadn't really noticed the muscle that had formed over the last few weeks, but he was right. I had a feeling that my days of torture were going to be coming to an abrupt end.

As we started down the path Ted ran past me and stopped. "Hey I know this place... my dad owns it. Did you say some old woman lives here?"

Ted pulled out his cell phone and started dialing before I could answer. "Hey... dad... there's some old woman living in your house over here in the woods! Yeah... okay... I'll meet you there."

"My dad will be here in about 5 minutes." Ted seemed anxious to run and see who the stranger was on their property as he paced.

"She's a really nice old lady, are you sure she's not some relative of yours?" I was beginning to worry about Pearl and what might happen if they decided to throw her out of her own home.

Moments passed and an older duplicate of Ted, whom I was sure his father, rushed up the path from the opposite side of Pearl's home.

"Ted, I want you to stay here while I go see what's going on." Ted's father walked toward the opening in the hedge and stopped.

"James!? James!" I watched as Pearl rushed out and nearly leaped into Ted's father's arms.

As we watched the spectacle her form became misty and transparent and then seemed to transform into a new and younger version of herself.

"Oh James, I've been waiting so long, and you found James Jr. I've missed you both so terribly." Tears streamed from her eyes and fell to the ground like forgotten diamonds.

After a deep embrace, Pearl pulled back and looked in my direction. "Thank you, Jeremy, for bringing me back my men. You do make a cute couple." She grinned and winked and it was then I realized Ted and I were holding hands.

"You take care of that chilly fine and the soil thief Jeremy." We watched as Pearl leaned into James one last time and faded into nothingness.

Ted's father looked in our direction and the sudden reality caused us to jerk our hands apart.

"Ted, what is your last name?" It hadn't dawned on me that I didn't already know.

"It's Brower... why do you ask?" The complete look of confusion on his face was almost comical.

"I think that was your great-grandmother." I said it to both of them as they stared at me in silence.

 

Copyright Darkshadow 2008