A Gift That Gives

What is the secret wish of every red-blooded American, that one thing we would all like to have? But we know—at least, most of us—that it is way beyond any possibility, just a dream. A Swiss Bank Account.

But now that dream can come true; a Swiss Bank Account is available to everyone, at prices that we can afford. Just released by the Mein Schatz company of Berne, Switzerland, the Swiss Bank Account can be purchased by mail or through Amazon.com.

This lovely item is a statue of a young girl with braids, barefooted and dressed in a dirndl dress. (For Americans, who may not be familiar with this old style of dress, 'dirndl' is a full skirt and matching vest worn over a scoop-necked blouse with short, puffy sleeves.) The girl is holding out a handful of grass to a goat kid at her feet. The kid is stretching upward to get the treat.

The girl and the kid are standing on a flat rock. The whole piece is crafted with exquisite detail, hand-painted by skilled European artists. There is a slot across the shoulders of the girl for dropping coins into the bank. The Swiss Account comes in three sizes: the Personal Account, twelve inches high, the Small Business Account, eighteen inches high, and the Corporate Account, twenty-four inches high. Each is painted in a different color. The Personal Account features a green dress, the Small Business Account has a navy blue dress, and the Corporate Account has a charcoal grey dress. Each Swiss Account comes carefully wrapped to prevent breakage and packed in a box with charming pictures of the Swiss landscape, featuring the Matterhorn. Included with each Swiss Account is a shiny new ball peen hammer with a sticker on the handle which reads "Access Code." To access your Swiss Account, you need only take the Access Code and strike the Account a sharp blow on the back of the head. Could anything be easier?

The entire figure is glazed, in non-lead glaze, with the exception of a band across the front of the rock, which is left unglazed so that the owner can personalize the Swiss Account by writing his or her name on the unglazed portion, using a magic marker.

The Swiss Account is an ideal gift for children, since it teaches them the valuable lesson of saving, and it provides a place for doting grandparents and other relatives to deposit small gifts from time to time. The Swiss give these Accounts to their children on their birthdays. The idea is that the child is encouraged to save his or her money for a year; on the next birthday, the highlight of the birthday party is when the family gathers around to watch the child access the Swiss Account. Then everyone helps the child sort and wrap the coins (coin wrappers not included) for deposit in the child's personal bank account. The money saved can also be used to purchase some toy or other item the child has been wanting.

Since the Swiss Account, in this situation, is used for only one year, it is an ideal gift for the child's next birthday, as well. The Swiss Account should be placed in a prominent place in the home, so that the child, as well as visiting relatives, will be reminded of its presence and its purpose. Adults, who may be a little reluctant to let others know that they have a Swiss Account, may wish to keep the Account in a more private place, such as the top of a dresser in the bedroom. The Swiss Account is then available when one changes clothes or purses and has extra change to deposit.

Start your family on the road to responsible saving with Swiss Bank Accounts for every member of the family. The Swiss Account is well within the reach of most families, since the Personal Account costs only $29.95, the Small Business Account is $49.95, and the Corporate Account is $69.95, plus shipping charges and applicable local sales tax. Get them now, through Amazon.com, or write: Mein Schatz, Kaerntnerstrasse 29, Berne, Switzerland. Please enclose a certified bank check or postal money order for each Swiss Bank Account ordered. Shipping charges and tax requirements can be found at swissbankaccounts.com.

CAUTION:

Some families have found that it is best to keep the Swiss Account on a high shelf, or in some other location not easily accessible to children, since there are documented instances of unruly and unsupervised children sneaking the Swiss Account out of the house and bashing its head on the sidewalk to buy candy which the parents have denied the child.

Accessing the Swiss Account should always be done under the supervision of an adult, since the resulting pieces can be sharp, and the child is in some danger of being cut while gathering up the coins. For smaller children, it is advisable for an adult to access the account, rather than allowing the child to do so. There are a few reports of little children becoming excited and trying to access antique crystal vases in the vicinity.

The Mein Schatz company is not responsible for use and accessing of the Swiss Account and is not liable for any injuries or damage resulting therefrom.

Editor's Notes:

Well, once again it seems that the darn foreigners have managed to worm their way into our wonderful Christmas celebrations. What in the world would be wrong with having an American Bank account. First they take our jobs and send them to Singapore, and now they want to take away the good old American PIGGY BANK. Hey it's a tradition Swine Savings Accounts have been around for many years and now all the hard working American Artisans who produced such wonderful educational banks are now forced to beg for hand outs on street corners while the Swiss get all the money. I for one, am simply out of my gourd with unabashed hysteria. Is that enough?

Arli, this was great!

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher