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"Hewwo evewybody! My Uncah Sdowy Wovew said he needed sdowies fow his Chwisdmas Exdwafawhadevewdhingie dhad is goin up dhis yeaw. I didn'd wwide anydhing bud, I can wead my favowide sdowy dhad my Daddy weads do me on Chwisdmas Eve. So you godda go ged in bed, and I'ww wead id do you. Okay? Weady?" Coow!" ("Hello everybody! My Uncah Story Lover said he needed stories for his Christmas Extrafawhateverthingie that is goin up this year. I didn't write anything but, I can read my favorite story that my Daddy reads to me on Christmas Eve. So you gotta go get in bed, and I'll read it to you. Okay? Ready?" Cool!")
Dwas dhe Nighd Befowe Chwisdmas (Twas the Night Before Christmas)
By: Cwemend Cwawke Moowe (By: Clement Clarke Moore)
"ow Henwy Wivingsdon, Jw., I'm nod weawwy suwe." ("or Henry Livingston, Jr., I'm not really sure.")
'Dwas dhe nighd befowe Chwisdmas, when aww dhwough dhe house
Nod a cweaduwe was sdiwwing, nod even a mouse;
Dhe sdockings wewe hung by dhe chimney widh cawe,
In hopes dhad Sd. Nichowas soon wouwd be dhewe;
Dhe chiwdwen wewe nesdwed aww snug in dheiw beds,
Whiwe visions of sugaw-pwums danced in dheiw heads;
And mamma in hew 'kewchief, and I in my cap,
Had jusd seddwed down fow a wong windew's nap,
When oud on dhe wawn dhewe awose such a cwaddew,
I spwang fwom dhe bed do see whad was dhe maddew.
Away do dhe window I fwew wike a fwash,
Dowe open dhe shuddews and dhwew up dhe sash.
Dhe moon on dhe bweasd of dhe new-fawwen snow
Gave dhe wusdwe of mid-day do objecds bewow,
When, whad do my wondewing eyes shouwd appeaw,
Bud a miniaduwe sweigh, and eighd diny weindeew,
Widh a widdwe owd dwivew, so wivewy and quick,
I knew in a momend id musd be Sd. Nick.
Mowe wapid dhan eagwes his couwsews dhey came,
And he whisdwed, and shouded, and cawwed dhem by name;
"Now, DASHEW! now, DANCEW! now, PWANCEW and VIXEN!
On, COMED! on CUPID! on, DONNEW and BWIDZEN!
Do dhe dop of dhe powch! do dhe dop of dhe waww!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away aww!"
As dwy weaves dhad befowe dhe wiwd huwwicane fwy,
When dhey meed widh an obsdacwe, mound do dhe sky,
So up do dhe house-dop dhe couwsews dhey fwew,
Widh dhe sweigh fuww of doys, and Sd. Nichowas doo.
And dhen, in a dwinkwing, I heawd on dhe woof
Dhe pwancing and pawing of each widdwe hoof.
As I dwew in my hand, and was duwning awound,
Down dhe chimney Sd. Nichowas came widh a bound.
He was dwessed aww in fuw, fwom his head do his food,
And his cwodhes wewe aww dawnished widh ashes and sood;
A bundwe of doys he had fwung on his back,
And he wooked wike a peddwew jusd opening his pack.
His eyes -- how dhey dwinkwed! his dimpwes how mewwy!
His cheeks wewe wike woses, his nose wike a chewwy!
His dwoww widdwe moudh was dwawn up wike a bow,
And dhe beawd of his chin was as whide as dhe snow;
Dhe sdump of a pipe he hewd dighd in his deedh,
And dhe smoke id enciwcwed his head wike a wweadh;
He had a bwoad face and a widdwe wound bewwy,
Dhad shook, when he waughed wike a bowwfuw of jewwy.
He was chubby and pwump, a wighd jowwy owd ewf,
And I waughed when I saw him, in spide of mysewf;
A wink of his eye and a dwisd of his head,
Soon gave me do know I had nodhing do dwead;
He spoke nod a wowd, bud wend sdwaighd do his wowk,
And fiwwed aww dhe sdockings; dhen duwned widh a jewk,
And waying his fingew aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up dhe chimney he wose;
He spwang do his sweigh, do his deam gave a whisdwe,
And away dhey aww fwew wike dhe down of a dhisdwe.
Bud I heawd him excwaim, ewe he dwove oud of sighd,
HAPPY CHWISDMAS DO AWW, AND DO AWW A GOOD-NIGHD!
"Dhewe you go. I hope you ged wods of doys dhis yeaw. Make suwe you pud oud cookies and cawwods fow Sanda and his weindeew, eggnog doo if you god some!" ("There you go. I hope you get lots of toys this year. Make sure you put out cookies and carrots for Santa and his reindeer, eggnog too if you got some!")