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There was deathly silence after that for a second as I watched in stunned fascination the barrel swing back around towards us and he said "Now where was I?"
All I could think about as I felt the tears running down my face was that this was it, I had failed to keep them safe and all I could hope was that those in hiding would be okay until Uncle Eric got here cause we weren't.
Suddenly a strange figure was standing in front of us, almost on top of us.
"&*&&*&*&*&&*&" came from it as I stared in shock.
What the hell?
It looked like a kid; but not like any kid I had ever seen before as he raised his arm and a red burst of energy streamed from his arm, engulfing the man with the gun and vaporizing him instantly.
I noticed then that there was another boy standing next to us, only this one was older.
Then the younger boy began making those strange sounding noises again as he looked around the room as if searching for something while the older boy just nodded.
I just sat back stunned as the older boy turned to me and said "Sammy?"
All I could do was nod my head in answer as I didn't think I could speak at the moment not even to ask how he knew my name.
"My name is Austin Short with Clan Short of Vulcan. We're here to help and we need to get you guys to our hospital."
Clan Short? I thought, suddenly having to think and then I remembered the call I made a few minutes earlier.
They came.
I could feel tears running down my face as I said "I couldn't save them. You came but they're…they're..." but I couldn't go on.
Finally I managed to get out "Help Yuri, Ronnie and Matty, please"
Suddenly there was this ear splitting screech that had me covering my ears in pain as I gasped "What in the…?"
When I looked up the older boy, Austin was smiling grimly as he nodded towards the younger boy who was splinting a whimpering Matty's arm and said "That is my little brother Timmy, he's speaking Seminole" Then he began to press down on the wound I had forgotten I had on my arm.
Suddenly I remembered Ronnie and pushed the older boy aside as I staggered up and ran to his side.
"Oh God Ronnie!" I muttered as I ripped off my shirt and falling to my knees began to press it into the wounds on his chest and arm.
Austin came over and began applying pressure to my arm again as I said "Don't worry about me help them"
"We are, just a second Sammy. Ark I've got the blood stopped on Sammy and Timmy's got Matty fixed up. I need you to get the rest of the injured to the hospital and we'll join them as soon as I explain what's going on to the rest of these guys"
"Brian's outside, and he's hurt" I said swallowing a lump which suddenly came to my throat as I remembered him crashing to the ground and not moving.
"Ark don't forget the boy named Brian who is outside with head injuries"
Suddenly Ronnie was gone from underneath me and I would have fallen forward if Austin hadn't caught me while all I could think was who the hell is he talking to.
"What the hell?" I asked
"Sub-Vocal two way communications device" Austin said quickly
But before the older boy could answer anything else Matty crawled up into my lap and wrapped his arms around me saying "Sammy; Timmy's mad. He only speaks Indian if he's weally mad! Did you see what him an' Wed did to the bad guy?"
I didn't get a chance to say anything before Austin interrupted softly with "Hey Matty, you think you could help Timmy make sure everyone is okay?"
With a last hug he scrambled off my lap and went to join Timmy.
"There are others" I said, before calling "Peter, Nikolai everyone come on out its okay" looking at Austin and hoping it was.
With everything I had heard about these guys it had to be I thought as I tried to keep it together.
It didn't last long though as Peter and the others came out from where they had been hiding and Peter crawling into my lap asked
"Where's Daddy?"
I tried to hold back the sob but it escaped anyway as I turned my head away from his searching eyes.
"Where's Daddy, Sammy?" he asked again as I could feel everything I had been holding back start to break through and the tears began falling.
"Why are you crying?" he asked
"Dad…Daddy's…" I was trying to say when Austin interrupted me "Hold on a sec, and let me finish explaining.
I looked at him wondering how he was going to explain to a six year old that the Dad he finally got who loved him wasn't here anymore when he got a shocked look on his face and shaking his head said "Look my Dad's outside right now, and all of the injured people including your Dad are at the hospital. I'm a telepath, so I know what's going on. Your Dad is still alive and is in the best hands in the Universe right now. Nobody was killed by these bastards, despite their best attempts, I'll fill you…" he was still saying but I had stopped hearing him.
Dad was alive.
"He's alive" I muttered, as I finally broke down as the relief swept through me.
He's alive, they're all alive.
I felt arms surrounding me and hugging me and a little voice saying "Please don't cry" and "Don't cry, Sammy."
I also heard Austin say, "Yes they're all alive."
"They're alive?" I said, finally looking up at them.
"Don't cry anymore, please," little Alexei asked and I realized that they were all there holding me, even Chris had managed to somehow crawl over to me.
"I'll try not to," I said, still crying.
I looked at Austin and said, "I thought…"
"I know, and I'm sorry I didn't catch it sooner, but so much is going on right now," he said.
"Chris, Derek that means that Samantha is alive too," I said to them and was rewarded with smiles through their tears as Derek said "Yeah, we heard."
"What is going on?" I asked, gesturing around us.
"Look, I'll fill you in more when this is over, but now that everyone is listening, I can give you the quick version, okay?" he asked.
We all nodded, but before he could begin a stream of bullets came through the window across the room, as I pushed everyone down for cover.
"It's alright, it's alright," Austin was saying, as I looked up at him, realizing that all the bullets had ricocheted off to the side without hitting anyone or even coming close.
As we sat up, he quickly began to explain before I could say anything.
"Timmy is shielding all of us right now, no projectiles can hit us. Don't ask, I'll explain that later too," he said as I started to ask the same question for the third time in just the last few minutes.
"The Clan rescued Matty while you guys were in Russia. We made sure that he and Wusty were there to meet you when you got home. Clan Short has been trying to watch out for you guys as much as possible since this went public. If we'd known that this was going to happen, we would have stopped you before you even got here, but if I read the guy's mind right, before Timmy vaporized him, the FCC has been planning this secretly since they lost the case against you. The first we heard of it, though was when Clint called in an emergency distress call, then we got out here as fast as we could."
Clint?
No, it can't be, they're a part of 'them'.
I felt myself shaking my head, confused, as I said "Clint and Ian? I don't understand they're with the FCC, why would they call you?"
This just didn't make any sense.
"Sammy, Clint and Ian are with Clan Short; didn't they tell you when you were attacked?" Austin asked.
"No, they can't be, I could sense it, no you're…you're wrong," I said, stunned and without thinking.
I'd never been wrong about someone before.
"Sammy they are with the Clan, and were sent to protect you," Austin said frowning.
"Oh God, what have I done?" I muttered.
"What happened?" Austin asked.
"Clint was hit right away, but I...Ian was…he was using some type of radio when the attack started. I…I thought…Oh God, I think I killed him," I said crying again, only in horror at what I had done this time.
"He's not dead, Sammy. Some of us were afraid something like this might happen. They were sent in undercover and told not to reveal themselves to you. Seeing what that caused, I'm betting that Dad don't let that ever happen again. Don't worry about it Sammy, we'll sort it out later."
I shook my head again, "No, I hurt him, I thought…" I began to say, but Austin interrupted,
"Look you were trying to protect your family, we'll talk about it more later, but right now I think we'd better get to the hospital, if any of you guys can help them when we get there please do."
He didn't understand, I was wrong and hurt someone because of it.
They had been trying to save us and because of me…
"&*&*&*&*&*&*&&*&" The little boy in the war paint suddenly said, again in that strange language, to Austin.
I watched as Austin nodded and translated "Timmy says he's staying to protect Dad so the rest of us need to head out. Ark, Timmy's staying, the rest of us need to go to the AI Hospital as soon as you have the chance."
Austin looked at Timmy and the stony expression on his face for a moment before saying, "It's a better idea than taking him with us, Ark. I don't think he's really in the mood to deal with the hospital right now."
I didn't know who this Ark person was that Austin kept talking to, so I was totally unprepared for what happened next.
Austin nodded and said, "Go ahead Ark," and with that, we were elsewhere.
That was so much fun, I thought as we pulled away from the restaurant and headed towards the house.
Mike was ahead of us and we were following when Danny asked, "Can we rent videos Dad?" followed by "Yeah, can we, can we?" from the other two.
"Okay, one each," I said and got a couple of "Ahhs" but they knew better than to push it as I turned off to head to Blockbuster and rental heaven.
They actually didn't take their usual six hours for a change, and quickly we were back on the road, heading home as they started to tell me all about the trip to Russia and what had happened since leaving me.
We were not far from home, when suddenly all three screamed "SAMMY, NOOOOO!!!!" almost causing me to wreck, but before I could do more than turn my head in shock, Kevin said, "We gotta get to Sammy and Uncle Mike, now!"
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Please Dad, please, they're in trouble," Randy said, while Kevin just said in a hollow voice, "There's blood everywhere," then suddenly Danny screamed again clutching his head and the others began crying begging now, "Please!"
Those words and the terrified looks in their eyes convinced me, if nothing else did, and while I didn't know what was going on, I trusted the Trinity and just knew that if they said Mike was in trouble, then he was, so I reached down to turn on the lights and siren when suddenly the alert tone sounded from the radio, followed by dispatch saying, "All units, Officer Down, E-Trigger has been activated, 41Sam Code 1? 41Sam?"
I felt my heart seize in my chest at those words, but it came to a complete stop at the next ones;
"Shots fired, please help us, Daddy…Daddy's been shot!" and it was SamSam's terrified voice, screaming over the speakers while I could hear weapons fire in the background.
"Sammy, what's happening" I yelled into the radio, as I sped towards their house, but didn't get an answer.
"100 Charles, 10-33" I called into the microphone, getting a response, "10-33 go!"
"100 Charles, immediate assistance to 41Sam's 42, shots are being fired, issue a Tac Alert, I want everyone you can get out there, NOW!" I told dispatch and then concentrated on getting to the rest of my family, and controlling the icy fear that was shooting up and down my spine.
The boys were silent, but sparing a glance, I could see the looks of horror as well as the tears running down their faces, unfortunately, I couldn't comfort them right now, as I swerved in and out of traffic to cover the last little distance.
I could hear numerous units responding, but I also knew they probably weren't anywhere as close as we were.
"Listen to me carefully!" I said loudly over the siren, to be heard by the boys,
"When we get there, I want you to get down on the floorboard and stay there until I come and get you," I told them.
When I didn't get a response, I said, rather harshly, "Do you understand?" and got terrified squeaks of acknowledgement from them, which would have to do.
This is not what I would have wanted, bringing my kids into a firefight, but I didn't have much choice right now.
We were approaching the turnoff to our houses, and then it would be a short distance to the road that cut off to Mike's place.
We had just turned off the highway onto the main access road and were approaching the turn off to Mike's, when the Trinity began screaming "STOP!!! STOP!!!"
Without thinking, I put the Suburban into a power slide just as shots began hitting the side of the truck, a lot of them.
A boy ran naked from the tent screaming as a man came bounding out after him yelling, "I'm gonna get you, ya little brat!"
The boy screamed again, as he zigzagged in an attempt to escape the pursuing adult who was relentlessly closing the distance between them, as the boy glanced back over his shoulder.
Seeing how close the man was, the boy, with a look of terror on his face, suddenly dropped to the ground as the man who had been almost caught up, went barreling past him, unable to stop in time which allowed the boy to jump up and run in the opposite direction in a desperate attempt to escape his tormentor.
It was only a matter of time though, before the man caught up to the boy and when he did, he grabbed hold and as the boy let out a last scream while he struggled against his attacker in vain, the boy was brought to the ground by the man who held him in a vice like grip, as the boy thrashed to escape, begging to be let go all the while.
But there was to be no escape, as the man began to tickle the child mercilessly, as the boy giggled and squealed helplessly in his grip.
Finally though, exhausted, they lay back with the boy snuggled tightly in the man's arms in the grass as the man gently caressed his young body.
"That's not fair, you're bigger than me," the boy said, with a pretend pout.
"Well, that'll teach you to pour ice cold water from that stream on me when I'm trying to take a nap," the man replied laughing, which brought about the cutest giggles from the boy.
"Oh you think that's funny, eh?" the man asked, as his hands which had been rubbing the boys stomach and chest, instead began to tickle once again, as the boy screamed, "No, no, it's not funny, it was very bad," but he couldn't stop giggling after he said it as they settled back to calm.
After a while the boy said, "I wish the others could be here with us."
"Me too," the man replied.
"Let's go swimming." the boy said suddenly, as he sat up looking back at his companion.
"Oh no, I've had enough of being frozen for one week, thank you very much," was the reply.
"Chicken!" the boy taunted.
"Yep, you go right ahead."
"It ain't that bad," the boy said, laughing now as he stood up.
"Yes it is," the man replied, as he watched the boy walk over to the water and then stop, looking back at him.
"Well go on, you wanted to swim, remember?" the man teased.
"Fine," the boy grumbled, as he turned and jumped in the water.
The man just watched as the boy came back up and stood there looking stunned.
"Told ya so," the man said, laughing
"It…it's….www…aaa...rrr…mmmm" the boy stuttered shivering.
"Oh, is that why something has retreated so far that you look like a girl now?" the man said, not being able to stop laughing at the sight.
"Is not," the boy said indignantly as he tried to pull it back out, but suddenly stopped, raising his hands to his head and with a scream, collapsed back into the water.
The man was up and running to the boy within seconds, freezing water forgotten, as he jumped in and grabbed the sobbing boy and carried him out of the water and onto the bank.
"What is it, what's wrong?" he asked frantically.
"Blood, blood everywhere!" he gasped out, as he looked at the man with horror in his eyes.
Suddenly he screamed, "NOOOO!!!" but before the man could say anything he added "We have to go, we have to," as he turned pleading tear filled eyes up at the man.
"Is it like the other times?" the man asked gently, but the boy only shook his head and said "Worse!"
The group of children were playing outside, kicking a soccer ball around in the grass when one boy yelled, "I'm gonna go get a drink of water," and scampered off towards the house.
Looking back, he stopped and watched for a moment as his family continued playing, he was so happy here now.
He never thought he would be, but this had truly become a home to him, he just wished all his family could be here.
Rules were so stupid sometimes he thought, as he turned back around and began walking once again towards the house.
He went inside and finding a glass filled it, drinking deeply before filling it again.
He was so thirsty that even water tasted good right now, since he couldn't have soda until dinner.
He was just bringing it to his lips and beginning to drink a second time when suddenly the glass fell from nerveless fingers on hands that were going up to clutch his head between them.
As the glass shattered on the floor, it was drowned out by the scream of the young boy as he collapsed to his knees crying out "NOOOO!!!!"
"Qu'est-ce que c'est, le petit, qu'est erroné ?" a woman running into the room asked, as she knelt at the boy's side pulling him to her body and hugging the sobbing boy.
"Le sang, le sang partout" the boy gasped out in horror as he looked up at the woman.
"Le sang, je ne comprends pas" the woman said shaking her head.
"C'est Sammy, Sammy et Mike. Nous devons aller, s'il vous plaît, nous devons" the boy replied desperately pleading with her.
"We must go." he said again, only this time in English, as he looked up at her with fear and the horror plainly visible in his eyes.
Suddenly we were in chaos, complete and utter chaos.
I looked around horrified at seeing all the people there, all of them were hurt, some badly.
There was blood and other things I didn't even want think about on the floor and dripping from beds.
I could feel myself shaking from it all, the pain and fear in the room slammed into me like something physical, and for a moment I thought I would pass out from the intensity of it.
Then Austin was asking, "Dad, Where can we help?" but he seemed to be talking to a young boy across the room who couldn't have been more than twelve or thirteen and that just didn't make any sense.
That boy replied "Austin! Sweet!" as he smiled at Austin and then said, "Send your group to see Danny and have him get someone to help with those two injuries you brought with you. The rest can go help out your grandmother in the waiting room."
I looked around at all the people running frantically around, and became even more shocked at seeing these strange looking metal things working on the hurt people.
They had things extending from inside of them moving so fast that it was nothing more than a blur as they worked on various patients.
"Okay, Dad," Austin said in reply, as he waved everyone out towards a set of swinging doors which I took to be the waiting room everyone was talking about.
Seeing what was left of my family leaving me, sent me into a near panic and I started to move after them, not wanting to lose them too in this whole mess, when suddenly Austin yelled, "Uncle Dan, Matty and Sammy need help," to a boy about the same age as the other one, only this one with brown hair instead of blond which had been almost white.
What was most noticeable was the eyes. This boy had the most amazing blue eyes which I could see, even at this distance and they seemed to almost glow they were so bright.
"I don need help. Timmy fixed my awm alweady!" Matty suddenly said, as he raised his splinted arm proudly for everyone to see.
I couldn't help smiling at that, as the boy, Danny, smiled and said, "He sure did."
Wiping off his hands which I noticed were covered in blood, he told Austin, "There's an open biobed if you want to check out Matty, I'll have a look at this guy's arm" then he reached out smiling and ran his hand through my hair like Dad does.
I almost lost it again and quickly turned my head away for a moment, trying to regain some control as I looked back at him and asked, "You're a doctor?" as it was the first thing I could think of and he was only like twelve or so.
I watched as Austin led Matty off in the other direction and then I was truly alone.
I couldn't see anyone else at all.
Where were Dad, Samantha or Yuri and Brian? So many people here and with all the emotions, I couldn't feel them anymore through it all.
The boy said, "Yup" bringing me back to the here and now, but I kept looking around for someone, anyone.
I had to find them, I just had to.
"I have to cut your shirt open so I can get a better look," he told me, causing me to look down at what he was doing, but I couldn't stop trying to see if I could find any of the others and my arm hurt like hell.
I was holding the bandage Austin had placed on it, trying to stop the blood, but it still hurt a lot when he asked, "You looking for someone?"
I was afraid of the answer, but I knew I had to ask the question anyway, as I said, "Have you seen my Dad?"
"No clue, what's your Dad's name?" he asked me, as he began cutting my shirt open.
"Mike" I replied, still looking around but not seeing anybody I knew.
"I can find out for you, but first, I need you to sit still, so I don't cut more than just your shirt," he said, smiling as I suddenly looked down at the scissors and then up at him and I could feel my face turning red as he asked, "What's his last name and I'll have my team try to locate him for you."
Remaining perfectly still, I answered, "Reynolds, same as mine," before looking down to the floor, wondering if I would be much longer.
"I think I've heard the name," he told me, but before he could say anything else, a lot of shouting started up, by the doorway and suddenly got louder.
He waved one of those metal things over and ruffling my hair again smiled at me warmly before saying, "Tell ya what, I'll try to find your Dad for you but, you've gotta let our doctors fix you up first. Deal?"
"Okay," I replied, in almost a whisper, then looked up at him and begged, "If you find him, can you come get me, I gotta see him."
"I promise," Danny said solemnly, while looking into my eyes as the metal thing came up to us.
"Gunshot wound," he told it, stepping back as he said, "I won't be far away, okay?" but before I could answer, the other boy from before screamed "I NEED HELP HERE, NOW!" and Danny took off running.
Now I was alone with a metal thing hovering next to me.
It began to work and I looked away not wanting to see, not wanting to think even.
It felt like a black hole was there somewhere waiting to suck me into the darkness and I didn't know anymore if I should keep fighting it or not.
If he died, I didn't know if I would want to live anymore.
I let my head drop down and I could feel the tears I had been holding back begin to fall slowly as each one fought and escaped the control I had been holding over them.
Samantha, Ronnie, Yuri, Brian and…and Dad.
I couldn't save any of them and now this, so many hurt and even more dead.
Suddenly something was pressing against my neck with a hiss and I looked up to see the metal thing stepping back.
"You are healed," it said to me.
"What?" I asked, kinda stupidly I guess, because it began to answer me as if I were dense.
"The gunshot wound has been treated and the projectile removed. Blood vessels were sealed and regeneration was implemented. You will be weak for a while from the loss of blood, but the injection was one to stimulate blood replacement and prevent infection," it informed me.
"Ah, thank you," I told it.
"You are welcome, Sir" it said to me, before turning and going over to another injured person.
I didn't know what to do now, they were finished with me, but I had no clue where to go.
I knew first aid, and was wondering if maybe I should try to help or something, or at least look for Dad and the others, when a boy walked by and stopping to look at me, said simply, "Wait here til someone comes to get you," and then took off again.
I saw a boy wheeling another off on a gurney and the sight almost made me throw up.
The poor kid couldn't have been more than six or seven, and his face and chest looked like ground hamburger.
I wondered if the older boy was his brother or something, because I could see him crying from here and it made me think of Ronnie and what his chest had looked like the last time I saw it.
It was a sight that I didn't want to remember.
I saw the little boy, Timmy heading through the doors to the waiting room a while later, and even thought I saw Austin, but he didn't come over.
I didn't understand why.
That was the thing, why had they done this to us?
What did we ever do to them, first that Social Worker and then the Prosecutor and News People.
Why couldn't we be happy? Were we so bad that we didn't deserve to be?
Why?
I felt the tears falling again as I thought about just wanting to have a family like everyone else.
I'd had one these last few years, but now it might all be gone and there were people who didn't want me to have one, even if everyone was alright.
What were we going to do?
I just knew they'd come after us and keep coming after us, I thought as I looked up and looked around again at all the hurt people, grown ups and kids.
Was my family worth all of them getting hurt and somehow I knew, even killed?
I was brought out of my thoughts if you could call them that, by a piercing scream filled with pain of "WHY! What the hell did WE ever do to deserve THIS?"
I looked over and saw that the scream had come from a teen age boy with bright blond hair, and one I thought I recognized from the news.
Another boy I didn't know yelled "SHIT! DANNY! Get over here!!! Cory's bad!"
I got down off the gurney and walked slowly closer to the boy as he yelled, "NO! Don't worry about me; help the rest of these kids!"
Then I saw Danny running over with something in his hand that he held out in front of the older boy as he said, "Yeah right, Oh my God, Dude, you're a mess."
The older boy looked up stubbornly at Danny and told him, "I'm fine, take care of the guys who are really hurt."
Danny turned and shouted, "Number fifteen, take Patriarch Short, sedate him if he resists," then he turned back to the kid who must be Cory and said, in a tone that left no room for argument, "Argue with me Bro, I dare you."
I watched as the other boys mumbled, "Oh shit," before asking, "You sure you guys aren't twins or sumthin?"
Then Cory just dropped his head and I could see the pain, and more, feel it, as he began sobbing and said, "Too many guys have died. I've lost a brother I promised would never get hurt ever again. I don't deserve a doctor."
His words echoed my own feelings, and I could feel tears in my eyes, thinking about that.
We had promised them they would never be hurt again and that we would keep them safe.
I had told Brian he would never have to be afraid anymore, and now look what happened.
I understood what he was feeling, because I was feeling it myself.
Danny got a confused look on his face as he said puzzled, "Lost a brother?" and holding up the robot thingy who had come over, told Cory, "I haven't see any casualties in close family yet, and everyone has been brought through us, so far."
Cory stared up at Danny in disbelief, before crying through the sobs racking his body "Adam didn't make it here?" and then curling up into a ball of misery.
The poor kid, how much worse must this be for him? They weren't even after him, I just got them caught in it and now he had to lose his family too.
"Oh," Danny said, and he seemed surprised as he reached down and carefully put his arms around the older boy.
"Ark, could you give me a status report on Adam Short and his team, please?" he asked then added, "I'd like Cory Short to be able to hear the report as well," while Cory just looked at him questioningly.
That Ark person was talking again which meant I couldn't hear anything she said, but suddenly Cory asked, "Procedures?" in a startled tone before moaning as he tried to extend his leg.
Then after that, I guess this Ark said something else, because in a long drawn out wail Cory cried, "Noooooooooo" as he hung his head and I could feel the despair in him at whatever he had learned.
"I won't stop it, but I'm taking all the blame for this," he said, looking back up Danny.
"Stop what?" Danny asked, clearly confused by that.
"Ark said they were gonna be fine" he added.
Looking at Danny with a bleak look on his face he said, "I broke my promise, Danny." Then sobbing added. "I promised Adam I'd never do nothin to let him get hurt ever again. Now he's gonna live almost forever, and it wasn't his choice, it was my fault."
I could see Danny was pissed at what Cory had said, and it shocked me too, didn't he understand I thought as Danny asked with his voice rising, "Are you nuts?" as he stood up and almost shouting now yelled, "It's a frigin war out there and you DID NOT start it. These people would be dead, if it weren't for you. Not recovering, DEAD! Every single one of us, including Adam was involved, not because you dragged us in, but because we chose to be here."
I had to make him see somehow, it wasn't right; his family was hurt because of me, if anyone was to blame.
I called them, Me, and they came to help my family.
He couldn't blame himself, he couldn't.
I found myself walking into the middle of it, knowing that I had to stop this, them being mad wasn't going to help, and if he didn't see it wasn't his fault, then he might stop helping kids and that would be something to not even think about.
"Excuse me. Are you really Cory Short?" I asked, stopping Danny who had his mouth open to continue yelling.
I could see the effort in him to respond weakly, "Yeah, I'm Cory."
"My Dad is alive because of you, and so is the rest of my family." Taking a deep breath, I went on, "I'm alive because you came when I called and asked for help. He's saying we'd be dead if you and your family didn't help. If you think it's all your fault, then it is. It's all your fault that we are still here and not dead in our house right now." He just had to see, I thought, pausing again and then raising my voice said, "You help kids and people and if anyone should feel responsible, it should be me, cause I called ya all, but if you hadn't come…if you hadn't…" but I couldn't go on as my voice caught, and I had to fight back tears as I quickly lowered my head.
"I can't see you, my vision is all blurry. Who are you?" he asked me
I replied softly "My name is Sammy."
I saw him make a face, as pain stabbed through his body, but he managed to ask me, "Timmy and Austin got you guys out okay? I wish I'd known those bastards planned this. I woulda never let you get close enough to the house to get hurt."
The thing was, if they hadn't come then we wouldn't be here now.
I didn't realize until much later, thinking back on this conversation, that I had misunderstood one little word in what he said, but for now I answered him.
"But they're a part of what you do. They wouldn't have come if you didn't show them the way. How can you think that? We wouldn't be alive, if you hadn't come and if you hadn't taught them to care. And in case no one ever told ya, no one can see the future, so blaming yourself for not being able to is just stupid," and then realizing what I had just told Cory Short of all people, I stammered, "Ah….sorry. I mean….you know," finally just giving it up, as I could feel my face turning red in embarrassment.
I also wasn't going to tell him that sometimes I could.
"He's right you know," and I looked over at the other kid who had been there and originally called Danny for help.
It was then that I saw what he was doing to this guy's arm with the bandages and couldn't help but say, "That musta been some wound," as I giggled at what was still visible of the poor guy's arm.
Laughing, Danny said, "Nice job bone head. Leave some gauze for the rest of the patients," before turning back to Cory and asking, "So you gonna let us work on you or do I have to have you sedated?"
I could see a look come across Cory's face and I just knew he was going to say something again, so I quickly pleaded with him, "Please let em help ya. You gotta get better. You're really needed," I told him, as I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.
Couldn't he see that? Didn't he know how much he was needed and loved?
In a strangled voice that obviously took a great deal of effort to accomplish, Cory almost gasped out, "Thank…you…Sammy. Danny…I'm…feeling…woozy"
"Blood loss will do that to ya," Danny said, dead serious as he motioned the robot thingy over that had been standing there all this time, "This guy will get you fixed up."
I watched as the robot thing picked Cory up and it was then that I saw the huge amount of blood that had been under him as Cory gasped one final thing "Danny….take…care…of…Timmy," before his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out.
"Oh shit, he's bleeding out bad," I told them at seeing what was underneath him and looked up to see shocked expressions on both their faces before heading after the robot who was carrying Cory to one of the beds where it laid the boy down.
I walked up to him and just looked down at him for a few moments before taking his hand in mine, and softly squeezing it, as I told him, "Don't go Cory, you're needed here, so stay with us, please. You can't die too."
Through my tears, all I could think was now if only he heard me.
"Is it like the other times?" the man asked gently, but the boy only shook his head and said "Worse."
"Tell me about it?" the man asked gently.
He watched as the boy shook his head with the tears falling down his soft cheeks and he could tell the boy was searching for the words to something he didn't have a way to adequately describe.
Finally though, the boy said, "I don't know, there's blood, blood everywhere and he's scared. Oh God, he's so scared and alone. I can also feel anger but it's at what's happening. I…I…" but that was all he could get out.
I could see him shudder as he said, 'alone' and knew he felt that so keenly because he had been that once.
"Can you tell me what he's scared of, or why there is blood?" The man asked softly, but only got a shake of the boy's head, followed by, "I don't know. All I know is something bad, really bad has happened."
"Is it the same person?" He next asked.
"I think so, he feels the same," the boy replied scrunching up his face as he thought about the confusing feelings going through him.
The man knew that the boy had always felt things, knew things and while he didn't understand how or why, he also didn't doubt, not any longer, and not for a long time.
The boy was something infinitely precious and something truly special and the man had known that from the first moment he had laid eyes on him and the soft brown eyes like those of a doe, looking up at him at their first meeting full of hurt and pain, yet he could see even then, the love and hope buried deep within him.
The man thought back to that day, remembering the desperate look within those doe's eyes begging to be loved finally, and he knew the moment he had been captured by them, that like the others, he would have no problem making that dream come true for this little angel.
Even then, as if the boy could sense the man's thoughts, it brought out a smile on the boy's face that lit the room and warmed the man's heart through and through. Then the boy was in the man's arms and he was hugging him tightly to him, knowing without a doubt, that this would be his child, even if not of his flesh.
The years since had been remarkable ones for the man and the boy who had truly blossomed into a confident, secure and most importantly, happy, child, while the man had found contentment and joy along with a purpose for his life.
This boy, he thought, looking down at the sweet creature nestled for comfort in his arms as he caressed the soft back gently was his life, he and his brothers were everything to the man and he couldn't ever want more in life than what he now had.
The abilities the boy had, whatever they might be, were something that was just part of who he was, and the man had accepted them from the outset upon discovering them. The boy had, had a couple of bad experiences, but not to the point that he kept them hidden, so when he had found somewhere safe and where he could trust, he had never thought to hide from his family what he was or what he could do.
This strange connection was one which had been there for as long as the man had known the child and while; neither the boy nor the man could figure out, what or who the connection was to, both knew that there was one, and it was most definitely real.
All through these years, the boy just referred to that connection as "HE" and we all knew what he was talking about; there was only one "HE".
If ever the man had any doubts, which he hadn't, they had certainly been quelled utterly and completely when two years ago, the boy screaming, demanded that the man take him to where his brothers were at the mall. He hadn't gone that day, because he hadn't been feeling well, or so he said. Later he had told the man that he had a feeling all that day that something was very wrong, but it wasn't until he came begging to be taken and telling the man that Kenny was in danger that he knew what was wrong. The man and boy had gotten to the mall just in time to see Kenny being led to a car, clearly against his will. The man had rescued the boy and put the man kidnapping him into a hospital, but it was the boy 'knowing' that had saved his brother, that day.
"HE" was something that perplexed the boy, and something he didn't understand at all, but somehow he was connected to that "HE" and all he could say was that the "HE" felt like another child, but of that he wasn't certain or whether it was a boy or girl although he leaned towards a boy for some reason he couldn't articulate.
All he really knew was that "HE" was as much a part of him even though he didn't know who or what "HE" was as the rest of the boy's family were.
This last week or so had been one of increasing intensity as far as the "HE" was concerned for some reason, and the boy couldn't explain it other than to say he 'felt' him a lot more than at other times.
In addition, it had been a week and a half of some frightening things.
The boy had told the man who was like a father to him of each occurrence, although at some of those times when the boy would cry out, it didn't take the man much to figure out the cause of it or at least who was causing it, because neither knew just what had happened to the "HE" that brought about those feelings in the first place.
It was a toss up whether the boy screaming and clutching his side in pain and then saying "HE" was dead with complete shock and disbelief in his eyes, or the other night when the boy had woken up out of a sound sleep crying out that "HE" was in danger and then that a boy had died but not "HE" was the worst of the last week or so, but all through it, the boy had said it felt like something was very wrong with "HIM".
All the boy could say was that "HE" was sad, angry, hurt and confused, really confused. He also told the man that the child was scared, but he didn't feel as if it was because "HE" was in danger, just that it was of losing something or someone, maybe.
The man didn't know, but now this had happened and this was definitely the worst.
Obviously the "HE" was in danger now, but neither the man nor the boy had any idea where "HE" was.
"It's the cop, something to do with the cop we saw," the boy interjected into the silence, breaking the man's train of thought.
"The one who gave us the ticket?" the man asked,
"No, the other one," the boy replied, looking up at the man before saying, "Please, we gotta go, please?"
"Alright sweetheart, we'll go. Let's get packed up then, and we'll get on the road," the man told him.
He knew which cop the boy was talking about, and they had a drive to get to where he was at.
The man couldn't help but wonder if the "HE" was this police man, instead of the child the boy thought he was.
"No, it's not" the boy said, looking back at the man before turning and going back towards the tent to assist in the packing.
Suddenly the boy stopped and cried out, "They're gonna kill em, Oh God, they're all going to die," before turning blindly back and falling into the man's arms, sobbing.
The man couldn't get anything out of the boy for a while then suddenly he stiffened and in a gasp cried out "No" then with his body rigid, just as suddenly relaxed.
All the boy could tell the man was that "HE" felt like he was about to die, was sure of it and then he wasn't, and then a short while later, "HE" had suddenly been gone then back but the boy said it felt like "HE" was farther away from him now, a lot farther than "HE" had ever been before.
To say this was confusing to the both of them was like saying there was a small amount of water in the ocean, so shaking their heads, they both went back to packing for their journey into whatever lay ahead.
"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT" I yelled as I grabbed the mic on my jacket and screamed into it.
"SHOTS FIRED, SHOTS FIRED!!!!! 100 CHARLES, WE'RE TAKING AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FIRE OUT HERE, SHOTS FIRED!!!!"
I was frantically trying to get us the hell out of here, but the Suburban had slid off the road and while the trees afforded us some protection, it wasn't enough and I couldn't get the car to move. I was despairing of us making it out of here alive, when Kevin reached down and grabbed the mic of the unit's radio and switching it to simplex, yelled into it,
"Billy, Adam, help us please, they're shooting us!"
Who the hell were Billy and Adam I wondered, as suddenly there was kid's voice on the radio saying, "Coming right up, little brother," and then a bright light followed by a thunderous explosion that almost overturned the truck and probably would have if it hadn't been for the tree we were up against swept over us.
Shock wave, but the question was, from what?
"Finally, I get to use one of those suckers! YEAH, burn baby burn!" the kid's voice yelled ecstatically, out over the radio, followed by another boy's voice, "100 Charles, warn your people off this area, and stand by for evac. Kev, come on we're coming in hot!"
"What the…" I was saying when Randy said "Dad, we gotta go now, get out" but before I could say anything, I heard the sound of rotors and looking back out the window, I saw something that I never thought to see outside of a museum.
"My God, that's a 'Guns and Go-Go', a working one," I said in disbelief.
"Yeah, come on Dad, and you'll get to see it up close," Danny replied, smirking.
"COME ON, COME ON, WE'RE IN A HOT LZ" the kids voice screamed over my radio, and then we were out and running for what I hoped was safety, as I keyed my radio and said into it, "100 Charles, 10-33. Keep all units, repeat keep all units away from this location, cordon off the entire area. Repeat, do not approach this area. We have an armed conflict of some kind out here, and it's way beyond our capability to handle. Military is onsite, do not approach. Jesus, it's a friggin war zone out here, stay the hell away!"
The last was, as I saw what the explosion had been.
A tank.
The Trinity had started pulling at me, because I had stopped at seeing it, but soon we were approaching the helicopter and all three jumped in with the assistance of people from inside.
I was just climbing in, when I saw something that made me freeze half way into the bird and my heart come to a complete stop.
Now, if he only heard me, please hear me, I thought and realized I wasn't just talking about Cory at that moment.
Please let them all live.
He looked so peaceful lying there, while the robot worked on him, all the lines of pain and worry, gone now.
I finally let go of his hand and moved over towards the window, looking out at the fountain with the little boy playing on the dolphin in the middle of it, so happy, so free.
Like I used to be.
It wasn't supposed to be like this, it just wasn't.
I finally had a family after everything and the others did too, and now this, we might have lost it all.
I could feel the tears again, and this time I didn't try to stop them, there was only a robot to see them anyway.
For once I didn't have to worry about anyone else, as I looked down at the laughing boy wishing I could be him again, even for just a second.
It was then that I heard the music coming softly out of the speakers overhead, Oh God, why this song of all of them?
You see I recognized it, and I loved it, Dad and I both did, but it was so sad and right now so…so…
I couldn't help but start to sing softly with it, like I always did at home with Dad when it came on, but this time, each word felt like someone was sticking a knife in my heart or something, as she sang that one question, the hardest question of all and one I was facing now, even though I didn't want to face it because I thought I knew the answer, I didn't
"How do I...
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?"
I don't know how long I had been playing there in the meadow with the other kids and I didn't really care, I just was.
It was so much fun as we ran, jumped, played and just enjoyed being kids and somehow, I knew that was important.
No worries, no pain, no thoughts of anything, except what fun we were going to have next.
It was beautiful here, green grass and a pretty stream with rabbits and deer coming down to visit us and we even got to pet them.
They weren't afraid either, and I loved it here.
Off in the distance was this huge mountain covered with snow on the top and fleecy clouds littering the sky in all sorts of shapes that you could just make out if you stopped and looked for a moment or two.
It was peaceful, full of joy and happiness and I never wanted it to end.
Of course it had to; all good things must come to an end.
We were playing hide and seek now and I was hiding in some bushes when this other kid crawled in with me.
"Can I share," he asked, grinning up at me with a smile that for some reason seemed very familiar to me.
It tugged something deep within my heart and for some reason; I knew I should know it.
"Yeah sure," I said, smiling back at him.
"Cool," he replied, sinking down alongside me to watch the little girl who was currently 'it' and who we were hiding from.
Nothing was said for a bit until he asked me my name.
"Mike, what's yours?" I replied.
"Pablo," he told me.
Something about that made me suddenly turn and look at him.
I knew that name, somehow, somewhere, that name meant something to me.
Something good and but also I suddenly knew, something real sad too.
"Do I know you?" I asked him, but he just looked at me without responding.
"I feel as if I should, or do," I added softly.
"Yeah, you got this habit of forgetting me," he said, with an impish grin on his face, that I just knew I had seen before.
A brief picture of him in a room somewhere came to me, followed by another and another all with that cute grin that just seemed to say, "What?" plastered there.
"I know you, I know I do," I said, as he just watched me.
"I would hope so, papa," he said, causing me to sit straight up.
"Pablito, your name is Pablito!" I said, in shock, as that was what suddenly came to me and I knew it was right, somehow.
"Yep," he replied.
Then it hit me, I didn't know how I knew but I did that Pablo had died, so that meant…
"But…you're…you're…" but I couldn't finish it and say the words.
That didn't stop him though, as his grin got even bigger and he said, "Yeah, still am and that's another thing you keep going on about," giggling softly now.
"I don't understand," I finally told him.
"I know you don't, papa. A friend of mine allowed you to come here for a while, where you could be safe, but you need to remember now."
"Where is here?" I asked, afraid he was going to say heaven.
He laughed instead and said, "No it's not that, it's a special place, just for kids who need a safe haven and even though you're all grown up, inside, you're still a kid, so you were allowed to come," he told me, placing his hand over my heart as he said inside.
I didn't understand, and looking down at my body, I just got more confused.
"I'm not grown up, I'm only eleven, look," I said, pointing down to my naked body. "I don't even got any hairs down there, yet" I added.
He giggled and said, "Oh yes you do, lots of them."
I was shaking my head, but he put his finger up to my lips and said softly, "Papa, you have to remember now, SamSam and the others need you."
It was like a bucket of ice water was thrown on me, and I heard myself gasp in shock as suddenly my mind was inundated with flashes of memory
"Come on Kat," I said, as I noticed she had stopped to watch some children playing on the playground.
"Can't we play, do we have to go home?" she asked me sadly.
I knew what she meant but I also knew the answer.
"We have to, we can come back later," I told her.
"I don't wanna," she said sticking her lip out.
"I know, Kat, but you know what'll happen if we don't," I said, knowing what would happen and hating myself for getting her to mind this way, but also knowing I didn't have a lot of choice.
I saw the look of fear come across her face, as she suddenly ran to catch up to me.
She didn't want to go home any more than I did, but if we didn't go straight home, then we would get it.
Once we did go home, then we could go out again, after changing into our play clothes, but if we didn't, well I didn't want to think about that.
"You think he'll be there?" she asked, as we hurried towards the house.
"I don't know," I said, thinking about mom's latest 'boyfriend'.
She had brought another one home last week, and he wasn't any better than any of the others, a real piece of poo-poo.
At least this one didn't really want to have anything to do with us, which was a good thing, considering the last one.
The one mom had before, kept finding ways to be around whenever Kat was changing or taking a bath.
He would just stand there looking at her for some reason, but it made me feel weird, seeing him do that.
I didn't like it, and he scared Kat.
Then mom and he had a big fight about it, and he was gone.
Mom had been mad cause she said he liked Kat more than her, and she wasn't having no competition, whatever that meant.
I just hoped mom wasn't funny today, cause she got real mean when she was, I thought, as we walked up the path to the door and I opened it.
"MOM, WE'RE HOME!" I yelled, as I headed back to my room.
"Come on, let's get out of our school clothes, and then I'll take you back to the playground," I told Kat.
"Okay," she replied.
We went into the room and got changed, but mom still hadn't answered us, so I headed down to her room to see if she was there or not.
The door was partially open, and I softly called, "Mom" but still didn't get an answer, so pushed it the rest of the way open.
"Is she in there?" I heard Kat ask, from next to me as I took in what was in the room.
Mom was lying there naked, and the thing you get shots with was sticking up out of her arm.
She wasn't moving.
"Is she?" Kat asked again, as I slowly walked into the room calling out, "Mom!"
Now, if I could just get out of here without old Mrs. Palmer seeing me, I thought, as I moved closer and closer to the door.
Just a few more feet, yes, I'm going to make it.
"Michael Christopher Rhodes! Just where do you think you're going, young man?" a horrible screeching voice asked, freezing me in my tracks.
Shit!
I turned to face her, knowing there would be no escape this time.
"Ah nowhere ma'am," I replied.
"Oh, I know that, young man. Now you get back to your place and behave with the proper decorum expected of a young gentleman," she said.
There were snickers from a number of the other boys, which were silenced with a glare from the old battleaxe.
"All of you had best be on your best behavior," she said, as she turned her gaze on all of us.
Another one of her inspection tours was happening where we were all lined up and made to look nice for whoever was coming, this time.
We had spent days cleaning everything and this morning, we had been given the nice sheets and blankets to put on our beds so the people coming would think this is what it was like all the time.
I hated her, as did all the other kids here, but there wasn't a lot we could do about it.
Three years of hell in this place, since mom died, and no end in sight.
I watched, as she turned away and began waddling back towards the front of the room and quickly grabbed a napkin out of the holder sticking it in my mouth and chewing real fast.
Then taking the wad out of my mouth and balling it up even more I reached behind me and pulled out my slingshot.
This was going to be good.
Taking careful aim, I let fly and then hid the slingshot, trying to keep a smile from my face as the spitwad hit her huge fat ugly butt and she made this squealing noise like a pig.
She turned around and came thundering back towards us, demanding, "Who did that? I want to know who did that right this instant?" while the others snickered.
"I have half a mind to…" she was going on, but was suddenly interrupted by a man's voice saying, "You have half a mind…" then pausing long enough that we were all laughing before continuing, "to do what, Agatha?"
I watched, as the fat cow turned red and turned rapidly to face a man, walking into the room and stammer "Mr…Mr. Reynolds, I…I…"
I just stared at him; there was something about him, his smile, and the way he looked over at us that froze me where I was, everyone and everything else, forgotten.
"Michael, I am speaking to you" she said suddenly bringing me back from wherever I had been, to find her and the man standing there in front of me.
"Ah, yes ma'am," I muttered.
"Mr. Reynolds wished to meet you," she said, in a tone of voice that clearly said, "I have no idea why he would, but he does."
"Hi," I said, looking down and suddenly shy.
"Well hello there young man, do you prefer Mike or Mikey?" he asked, and his voice was so kind and full of warmth, as I looked back up at him and smiled saying softly, "Mikey's fine, Sir."
"Oh, don't call me sir, just Jason, otherwise you'll make me feel old," he told me.
"Oh, that wouldn't be proper, Mr. Reynolds," Agatha said.
"Sure it would, why don't you go on, and I'll meet you later. I think we should let these young gentlemen go play and get out of this stuffy dining hall, don't you?" he said.
"But…But…" she tried to object, but taking her by the elbow, he moved her back and told her, "Come now, Agatha, I'm sure they would much rather be playing, than gathered around in here, and I can have young Mr. Rhodes give me the grand tour, to save your feet."
"Well, I suppose…" she was saying, and that's all it took, as there was a stampede out the door, until I was the only one left as he came back alone.
"Much better, wouldn't you say?" he asked, smiling at me again and all I could do was smile back.
"Come on then," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder and leading me out the door.
Just as we went through it, he told me, "That was one hell of a shot by the way," leaving me standing there staring up at him with my mouth open and that smile of his, grinning down at me.
I couldn't believe it after all this time, it had finally happened, I thought as I looked up at him.
"Thank you Dad, I love you," I said as I snuggled up in his arms, squeezing him tightly.
"I love you too son, but do you understand now why I made you wait?" he asked gently.
"Yeah Dad, I didn't for the longest time, but I do now," I replied, sighing contentedly.
I did now.
"I'm gonna join up Dad" I told him.
"Are you sure, Son?" he asked, looking at me.
"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied.
"Well, you graduated early, and you can certainly continue your education while in the service, so if you're sure, then you have my blessings, Son," he said, looking deep into my eyes.
"Thanks Dad, I will," I told him smiling.
"It seems like only yesterday when I met you, and now look at you, so big," he said, and I could hear the sadness in his voice.
"I'll always be your little boy, Dad," I told him, smiling gently.
I would miss him so much.
"I know sweetheart, I know," he said, as he pulled me to him and hugged me tight.
It was that which I would miss the most, I thought, those hugs, the thing I had been without for so long, until he walked into the home, that day.
"You never did tell me how you got poor Agatha on the day she retired?" he asked me suddenly.
I laughed, remembering, and I decided to tell him.
"Well, you know they fed a lot of us Phenobarbital, so I took some and mashed it up real good and put it in her warm milk she drank every night. Then me and some friends went in about midnight and did it," I told him.
He was laughing as he said, "You know they could hear that screech for a hundred miles, when she discovered what had happened."
I just laughed with him as I said, "Yeah."
"Don't you think the card and gift was a bit of overkill, though?" he asked, as I shook my head no.
We had made up a going away card, which we left at her place at the dining room table, when she finally came downstairs, and in it, we had simply said we hoped she enjoyed her going away present, and it was because of how we all felt about her. If that wasn't enough, the present on the table was a jar of "Starshine Head Wax."
The bottle had said it made a bald man's head shiny, but we all thought it would work for a woman too.
"Hey Josh what's up?" I asked, as he walked into the room.
"Mike, you need to go to the CO's Office," he said, but it was his tone that brought me to my feet.
"What is it, Josh?" I asked.
He looked down and I knew, with a sinking feeling in my gut, that something was dreadfully wrong.
"Mike, I don't know how to tell you this…" he started to say.
I moved up and put my hand on his arm, saying, "What's happened?"
"It's your Dad, Mike," he almost whispered.
"Dad? What do you mean?" I asked, afraid to find out.
"Mike, he was on his way home from the airport last night, and there was an accident," he told me.
I could only shake my head for a moment before asking, "Is he alright? Is he hurt?"
Josh just shook his head and I could see the tears in his eyes as he said, "No, Mike he's not."
"No, please no!" I cried, and then had his arms wrapped around me tightly, holding me up.
"Just stay the hell away from both of us Mike, I don't want you anywhere near my son," Susan yelled into the phone, before I heard the click.
It was the end of us
I read those words again, "I love you Mike" and just shut down, the pain overwhelming me as I whispered through a choked throat, "I love you too, Pablito."
"It's a boy and we've named him David, David Michael" Marty said, smiling at me, as I just stood there with my mouth open.
"David Michael?" I asked stupidly.
"Yeah bro, David Michael," he said, handing the wriggling bundle to me which opened its eyes as soon as I got him settled into my arms.
"You've been cleared Mike, you're free," the attorney was saying, as I slowly shook my head and walked away.
I had been cleared, and I was free, but I had lost the only things I had in my life, my family.
Oh Jesus Christ, I thought, seeing the man pounding the head of the cop into the ground
God, I had a family again, and these three little angels were my heart and soul now, them and their Dad.
He's cute, I thought as I made my way into the restaurant, real cute, and something about those eyes.
Nah, I got to stop this, I think it's time to get home to the terrors, I miss them too much, I thought as I looked back at the little boy standing there staring after me, just outside the doors to the place.
So cute.
The pain and sudden grief that I wasn't going to be there for this little angel, after all, and that I would never get to see the Trinity again, filled me as the blackness took over.
My last thought was, why?
After all this, I finally had a son, and now I was going to lose him.
Watching as a fidgeting and very nervous eight year old stood next to me in the courtroom as the Judge cleared his throat and looked sternly at us.
I was starting to get nervous, now.
"Mr. Reynolds, the petition before this court is one of the most serious which we here can administer, and I want to make sure that you fully understand the gravity of the situation," he intoned.
I could see Sammy almost shaking now, and procedure be damned, I reached out and pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his small frame, hugging him tightly.
This got a frown from the Judge, as he continued.
"Do you fully understand what it is that you are asking here? The petition is one that makes you responsible forever, for the young life which you hold even now in your arms?" he asked.
"Yes, your Honor, I do," I replied.
"Then do you take Samuel Patrick Campbell, to be your son, to be your son for all time, and to love him, teach him, discipline him as necessary, and most of all to give him lots of hugs?" he asked, seriously, and I felt Sammy stiffen for a moment before relaxing completely, as I answered,
"I most certainly do, your honor, especially the hugs part," which got him twisting in my arms and giving me a big Sammy grin, as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me.
I was only too happy to return that hug, until the Judge cleared his throat and said, "You don't have to start quite yet," but he was smiling, as he said it.
"Samuel Patrick Campbell, this decision is one of the most important ones you will ever make, and it is one which you cannot undo. You need to be very sure of this decision and think as you answer, because I need to know, do you take Michael Christopher Reynolds, to be your father from this day forward, to love him, protect him and have fun with him, but most of all to give him lots of cuddles and loving, forever?" the Judge asked, bringing Sammy back around in a flash.
"Oh yeah! Forever, and ever and a million years past that," he replied, grinning from ear to ear.
The Judge looked at him without saying anything, and Sammy added, "Oh yeah, Your Honor, Sir."
This got a chuckle out of the judge, as he said, "Then this court hereby sustains the petition, in all particulars, as filed."
There was dead silence in the room.
Sammy looked up at me with a confused look on his face, mixed with fear, and asked, not so quietly, "Wh...what did that mean?"
Before I could answer, the Judge spoke up, "What that means, young man, is that you now have a father to look after and at least TRY to keep you out of trouble."
The look on Sammy's face was priceless, as comprehension began to set in and I heard a soft, "You mean…?"
I just nodded my head smiling, and then I had small boy quite successfully crawling up my body to wrap his arms around me, and be wrapped in my arms as he screamed out his happiness for all the world to see and hear, punctuated mostly with, "Yes, YES and yes!!!".
When it quieted down slightly, because of course the Trinity had to come and danced around with him, after he got down again, the Judge went on,
"Well, it seems as if that decision at least was met with a modicum of approval from certain quarters. Sammy, I asked you this in my chambers earlier, and so without any further ceremony, I would like to announce to the court that from this day forward, Samuel Patrick Campbell will henceforth be known as Samuel Patrick Reynolds."
Sammy turned to look at me with eyes that expressed his uncertainty and softly asked me, "Is that okay?"
I just smiled and reached out pulling him to me, as I said, "Nothing could be more okay in the whole world, Son."
I was rewarded with the biggest smile I had ever seen, as he buried his head in my chest and looking at Eric, who was smiling at me, I felt the tears run down my face in happiness.
I now had a son, forever and ever, and a million years past that.
The memories seemed to come even faster than, the first time he got in trouble and how scared he was, then the disbelief when it didn't end up with him being sent away or beaten.
All the little problems and growing pains we went through, as he became accustomed to a different place and life.
Memory after memory, now nothing more than snippets flashing in my mind, as I remembered who SamSam was and my life as it is now.
Then came what I knew were more recent memories, the trip and Peter, followed by the mall and losing him, ever so briefly, Brian, and then the whole thing with the court case.
My other new additions, Derek, Chris, Yuri, Nicolai and Alexei and how much they had come to mean to me.
Finally winning, and knowing we could go home when we got the call to Utah and meeting those extraordinary children that made up the Unit.
And Jeremy, my poor Jeremy.
Then the return home, unpacking, the kids so happy and relaxed, some not believing that this was now their home, and suddenly blood, blood everywhere, oh God, all the blood, and the look on Sammy's face was etched into my mind forever.
I'd been shot.
"SAMMY" I yelled, as I struggled up.
"Oh God, Sammy, no!" I cried, as he grabbed onto my arm.
"Papa, papa chill, he's alive, they're all alive. Sammy saved them," Pablo told me, as I looked at him in disbelief.
"They're alive" he repeated.
Then it hit me, I was shot and while this wasn't heaven, it meant…
"Am I dead?" I asked, not sure if I wanted the answer or not.
I saw that grin I knew so well, back as he tilted his head and said, "Nah, you ain't dead….yet."
I gasped "Yet???"
"God, Papa you gotta chill some, you're so easy," he said, giggling.
Before I could go on, he added, "You got some time left, there's things you gotta do yet."
I wasn't sure what he meant, but at least I wouldn't die right now, although if Sammy and the others had been killed…
"Sammy and…and the others?" I asked, still scared, what he said not sinking in, yet.
"They're alive, Papa, like I said, Sammy saved them and the group that attacked you seems to have bitten a bit more than they can chew," Pablito said, grinning at me with that same old grin.
Then it hit me, Adam. Adam and the Unit were following us up there, and with what he had loaded into all the helicopters, I now thought I understood exactly what Pablo meant.
No one would want to take them on, and if they did, well at this point, they weren't just trying to deal with a mouthful, but were probably choking to death.
"I don't know about anyone not wanting to play with them, but that group is finding out, they don't," he said, laughing again and I knew if he could, he would probably be down there challenging them to one of his famous 'exercises'.
"They're alive," I repeated, and he just looked at me, "Yeah Papa they're all still alive. Some of them, like you, are hurt real bad, but none of you have died," he told me.
"Thank God," I whispered, as I could feel the tears begin falling.
Then I felt my first child wrapping his arms around me and hugging me.
God he felt so warm and even smelled the same, I thought, as I drew in a deep breath of his fresh clean hair.
"Oh God Pablito, why did I have to lose you?" I asked, something which I had asked a million times or more.
He looked up at me and some of his smile was gone, sadness replacing it in his eyes, as he answered, "I used to ask the same question, Papa. I was so sad when Daddy died and then you came. You made me feel things again, and be happy for the first time, since he went away. Then that night happened, and I knew I didn't have a choice. I don't regret making it, Papa but I do wish I could have stayed too."
"But why, little one, why?" I asked, yet again.
"Because it was my time, Papa, it was just my time," he said ever so softly.
"You're only nine years old, Pablito, you should have had many years left," I replied angrily.
"You don't understand, Papa, bad things sometimes have to happen, so good things can," he told me.
"What good could come from your dying? You're an angel now, and have all the answers, so tell me why. Why you? Why Davey and Jimmy? Why did HE let what happened to Billy happen? What about SamSam and the others, Peter, Chris, Derek, Brian and Yuri with his family. Tell me, WHY?!" I demanded, as he just looked up at me with tears in his eyes.
Finally I sighed in resignation and simply asked, "Why does He allow the children to be hurt so?"
"Papa, I don't have all the answers, and even the ones I do have, I can't share with you. There are things which I'm not allowed to tell you, I'm sorry," he whispered.
"So am I, my family was attacked and I've lost so much, starting with Dad, then you and the list just keeps going on and on. When will it end?" I asked him.
I watched as he stood back and looked up at the sky for a minute before turning back to me.
"Papa, someone is going to help me show you something, and maybe then it will make at least a little more sense to you," he told me, walking back and taking my hand.
"What are you going to show me?" I asked, confused.
"What might have been," he said, as he pulled on my hand and suddenly a gray mist enveloped us, leaving us on a highway somewhere which, for some reason, looked real familiar.
"Papa, you can't interfere here, no one can see you or hear you," he said, just as I heard a siren, and looking back down the road, I saw a Patrol Car attempting to pull over another vehicle.
I watched as the unit pulled in behind the other car, and to my shock, Eric got out and began walking up to the vehicle.
At the same time, a man who I suddenly recognized left his car and began aggressively moving towards Eric, who told him to get back in the car.
The man didn't listen though, and just as Eric was reaching for his mic, he jumped him and I watched in horror as they fought, realizing what this scene was.
"Eric" I yelled, as I ran towards them, and I could hear Pablo yelling to me that there was nothing I could do, but I didn't care as I reached them and grabbed ahold of the suspect only my hands went right through him, and touched nothing.
"Do something!" I yelled, looking back at Pablito, but all he did was watch with a sad look on his face and shake his head.
"Damn it Pablito, you have to help or let me!" I screamed, watching as the man grabbed Eric's head and began pounding it into the pavement, ruthlessly.
"I can't" he said softly, having come up to stand alongside me, now.
Where was I, damn it, where was I?
I should be here by now, I'm sure of it, I thought, as I looked down the road looking for my suburban.
Nothing.
I watched in horror as he left off pounding Eric's head in, and then reached down and took Eric's service weapon from his now unconscious form, laughing before he pointed it at Eric's head and pulled the trigger several times.
No
"Eric!" I called, as I collapsed next to him while the man sped off.
"No, this isn't the way it happened," I cried, looking up at Pablito begging him.
"Come Papa, there's more," he said, reaching down and taking my hand again and dragging me up and into somewhere else.
Suddenly, we were standing in a diner as the news played out on a TV above the counter.
"Sad news out of Oklahoma to report this evening. Authorities are saying that a young boy who apparently ran away from an abusive foster home was found dead alongside the Will Roger's turnpike, and that he had been brutally assaulted before his death. Authorities are not releasing any details of the crime, other than this picture of him, they have identified him as Samuel Patrick Campbell, age eight of Dallas…."
"No, no, no. This can't be. You said he was alright" I cried turning to Pablo, who was just looking at me.
"….further the children in the home which he ran away from were found dead when police went to investigate young Samuel's disappearance. Sadly, it seems that his escape from the abuse was short lived," the announcer's voice ended, leaving me crying and begging Pablito for it not to be true.
"I'm sorry papa, but without you there, there was no one to save Eric or Sammy. When you didn't save Sammy, the others in the home died too," Pablito told me.
"You're telling me that this is why you had to die?" I asked him.
"No, I'm telling you this is why you had to live. It was my time, and I chose how to go out. If you had died that night, then the others would have too, and many more as well," he told me, and suddenly we were back in the meadow.
My knees gave way as I fell to the ground, and he was suddenly in my arms holding me and I was holding on to him for dear life.
I couldn't imagine my life without Eric and Sammy in it, and to think of Kelly and the others dying like that left me shaking.
Suddenly another thought hit me,
"Wait, you said "others", what others? What about Brian and Peter and the trinity?" I asked.
"Sammy saved them and he wasn't there," was all he said, but it was enough.
They too had died.
"That didn't happen, because you went home, Papa," he said softly, against my cheek.
"But at what cost?" I asked.
"Papa someone told me something that I like, he said there is a time for all things, to live, to love and finally to die. It was my time," he said, pulling back to look deeply into my eyes.
"It was my time," he repeated softly, and somehow I knew it was going to have to be enough, and then again, as he continued to look deeply into my eyes, I knew it was.
I had to ask though, and I did.
"What about all the rest? Jeremy, Ronnie, Miguel, and the attack?"
"You'll find out some of the answers, when you get back, but as I said, Papa, sometimes bad things have to happen, so that the good things can," he told me, and I also knew that was all the answer I was going to get.
"Come Papa, you need to see this," he said.
"Oh my God," was all I could utter in horror as I saw what was awaiting me in the helicopter and the thought that my babies were already in there with it.
I felt myself scrambling backwards, reaching for my gun when suddenly it let out a ferocious snarl and leapt right at me.
It had to be the biggest black panther I had ever seen, and it was heading right for me, as I flung myself backward in a desperate attempt to escape it's charge yelling, "Shit, Shit, Shit!" the entire time.
I knew there was no way I could, from this distance, but I had to try, because if I didn't, then it would turn on the boys next.
Then it was on me, as I let myself fall to the ground and pulled my Sig from its holster, rolling and praying as I came up looking for where it had gotten to.
All I could do was stare in disbelief at the scene that was in front of me while I heard giggles from inside the helicopter.
The cat had leapt over me and took out what was apparently a bad guy who had been coming up behind us.
Now, it was standing their licking its lips and I could swear it stood there looking at me with a grin on its muzzle, even if that was impossible.
It began slowly walking towards me as I backed up until I felt the helicopter pressing into my back and I knew I had nowhere else to go.
Then a voice from inside screamed "Would ya all stop fucking around and get in here before more of them come to play, we're kinda in the shit here, right now, ya know?"
"Come on Dad," I heard, and watched as the panther stopped and just stared at me.
I turned slightly, trying to keep the thing in my sight as I scrambled into the helicopter while still keeping ahold of my gun, which was a lot of fun, but then it hunched itself up and jumped over me again so when I was in, I found myself looking straight into that grinning muzzle once again, only this time a lot closer than before.
Then, to my complete shock and horror, the boys all jumped on the cat and started hugging it, as it licked them and I could swear started purring.
My mouth just dropped open, as Danny grinned up at me and said "Dad, this is Fluffy, isn't she great?"
"Fluffy?" I said, in a strangled whisper as I felt the helicopter suddenly power up and lift off the ground rapidly.
The damn thing stopped its licking and turned its head back towards me and grinned again, as it licked its muzzle, showing me a huge set of very sharp teeth.
"Yeah, her name is Fluffy, and these are her kittens, Wacko, Yacko and Dot. Dot's the pretty one, just ask her," Randy said grinning a big grin, they turned and began giving attention to three other very large cats, who I hadn't noticed til then.
"Kittens?" I managed to get out, before everything began swirling around.
This was fun, I thought, as I watched Dad with his mouth opening and closing like a fish.
"Kittens?" he sort of asked, with a shocked look as we all jumped on Wacko, Yacko and Dot and gave them a bunch of hugs.
Suddenly, he just fell over and all of us were screaming, "DAD" and rushing to his side.
Tommy got up and ran over, checking Dad out, then turned and giggling, said, "Ah you just freaked him out too much is all, he fainted."
"Dad, feint?" I asked in disbelief, as I looked at Danny and Randy, "our Dad"?
Then again, I couldn't help but giggle at seeing it.
What was even funnier was that Fluffy got up and walked over to him and began licking at his face.
We watched, just knowing what was going to happen, and soon enough it did, as Dad began to moan and stir a bit.
Fluffy just kept on licking his face until he opened his eyes and then gave him one last lick.
He made the weirdest noise, when he realized she was there and what she was doing to him.
Fluffy just smiled and I could tell she was laughing inside, as Dad just stared at her wide-eyed.
"Hey Dad, you okay now?" I asked him.
He couldn't seem to take his eyes off Fluffy, as she walked back over and sat down with her babies and all of them just looked at him.
"Dad?" I called again, giggling some more.
That got me a look, but hey, it was funny.
About then, Billy called from the front, "Okay we're coming in, once we're down, we're gonna stay hot, so get out, clear the area and keep your heads down. This is a hot LZ"
Almost as soon as he got done talking, we touched down hard and the kid on the door started yelling "OUT, OUT, OUT!"
We all jumped out, and keeping our heads down, ran away from where the helicopter was.
Fluffy and the kittens were running amongst us herding us towards safety where we all stopped and turned back around to watch the helicopter take off again, really fast.
"Come on, Dad" I said, grabbing onto his hand as I spotted someone and led him towards where Adam and Logan were standing.
When we got to them, I said, "Adam, this is my Dad, Eric Carlson."
Adam turned and said, "Welcome to hell, Mr. Carlson, I'm Commander Adam Casey and this is Major Hayes."
Dad just looked at him and finally asked, "Just what in the hell is going on here and where's Mike and Sammy?"
I watched as Adam got a pained look on his face for a moment, and felt that something was very wrong as he replied, "Sir, they were attacked and have been evac'd to an advanced medical facility, elsewhere."
"Adam, are they hurt?" I asked, before Dad could say anything.
He turned and looked at me and I could see the answer before he said it. "Yeah Kev, they are."
I tried hard not to cry, but I could feel the tears anyway as Dad asked, "Are they…are..?" But Adam interrupted him and said, "They're all still alive, but….well some of them are bad, real bad."
I threw my arms around Dad and felt Danny and Randy there too, as we cried into his chest and heard him ask in a tone that scared me, "Who did this?"
"According to Cory, it's a Religious Group called the FCC," Adam told him.
These people had hurt my family and they weren't gonna get away with it.
I was going to help Adam as much as I could, and I knew Randy and Danny would too.
We let go of Dad and I saw the boxes of supplies nearby and motioned to my brothers to come on, as I headed over there, leaving Dad to talk to them.
"Come on, lets get some stuff here," I said, as I went to one box which had the Unit's Armor in them and began sorting through em, until I found one for me as the others got theirs.
Then we went to one filled with handguns in holsters attached to belts and grabbed one each, pulling the guns from their holsters and chambering a round before replacing them in the holsters from which they came.
I went to the next one where there was ammunition clips and grabbing several, placed them in the holders on the belt before moving over to the next box which had H&K MP 5's in them.
We each got one, along with extra clips and I grabbed an extra for Dad as I watched a helicopter which had been unloading the command center take off.
Then we headed back over to where Dad was and said "Dad, this is for you."
The look on his face was so funny, as he turned and saw us standing there with our guns and armor and if it wasn't for what we had just learned, I would have probably laughed, but not now.
He didn't say anything for a moment, then just reached out and one thing at a time took the items from us and put them on.
"Thank you," he told us, before turning back to Adam and saying, "You tell me what you need and I'll try to provide it."
"Well, right now…" Adam was saying, as I watched the second helicopter, this one full of the little ones start moving forward to take its place.
Suddenly, over Adam's radio, I heard Juan yell, "SAM incoming!!"
We all turned towards the helicopter that was just starting to land, but was still about fifteen feet off the ground.
I could hear the power screaming through its engines, as it suddenly banked sharply to the right and I could see all the kids in the back who had been there by the rear cargo door getting ready to jump out and run, as soon as the helicopter had landed. I could also see the streak of fire and smoke that was heading right for them.
"Oh no!!!!" was all I could gasp, as Danny cried desperately, as if he could help the bird get away, "Go, Go, Go, come on Charlie, Go!"
Suddenly, the boys who I hadn't noticed were gone as I spoke with the boy named Adam were back, when Kevin said, "Dad this is for you,"
I looked over and almost had a heart attack, as I saw all three of my babies in body armor and armed with handguns and rifles that almost seemed too big for them.
Mike and the kids had been ambushed and Adam didn't know anything other than no one had died, at least not yet they hadn't, and it seemed watching all the people running around out here that as hard as it was to believe, that most were nothing more than children.
Our most vulnerable ones were once again being hurt by people that were nothing less than pure evil in my book, and looking at my kids my first thought was to order them to get rid of the guns, but then if they were attacked, which was likely, then I wanted them to be able to fight back.
They wouldn't be sitting ducks, like Mike had been.
"Thank you," I finally said, taking each item from them and putting it on.
These sons of bitches weren't going to get away with this, not in my home, and not with my family, I thought, as I turned back to Adam and told him, "You tell me what you need and I'll try to provide it."
Adam looked at me for a moment before starting to reply, "Well right now…." But that was as far as he got, as a young child's voice, a girl's I thought, came screaming over the radio "SAM Incoming!"
I had been watching, as the first helicopter had come in with a large box like structure hanging underneath it, while I spoke with Adam and then watched as it lowered it gently to the ground, before ascending aloft once again.
I then noticed the second, which had been hovering some distance away fly in slowly towards where it's sister had been moments before, decreasing altitude as it came and it was to this, that I turned my attention, along with the others, at that cry.
The helicopter had just reached the landing area, and was down to about fifteen feet off the ground when the scream had come over the radio.
I could hear the engines spooling up in a great whine as max power was applied in a desperate attempt to get away, even as the copter banked sharply to the right in evasion from the missile, which even now I could see streaking straight for the doomed aircraft.
I heard Adam give a strangled cry of one word, although I didn't know what it meant.
"Kent!"
My eyes, though, were riveted on the rear cargo doors, and what they contained.
Children.
Please God, no, not the kids.
I watched, as the helicopter, in a valiant effort, heaved upward as it banked, kids spilling screaming from the rear of the copter to crash down unmoving onto the ground below.
The laws of aerodynamics, though, were incontrovertible and that much mass moving that slowly just didn't have what it took to do what it needed to, no matter how skilled the pilot flying her was.
I could see the remaining children, and I could almost think I could see their terrified eyes looking out at us, begging us to do something, anything, as the missile which had been closing inexorably with the craft, finally met it in a kiss which brought nothing but death and destruction.
There wasn't anything we could do though, anything anyone could do, except pray for them.
In horror that was broken by several screams, including those from my children, I watched as the missile struck straight into the rear doors and into the aircraft, taking those children mercifully to a quick death as the fireball from its impact exploded out the rear of the craft.
I didn't want to think about anyone who might be left alive in there; it wouldn't be nearly as quick for them.
It all happened as if in slow motion, and I watched in mounting horror as the helicopter, which had been banked steeply to the right seemed to freeze in midair for moments that stretched into eternity, before rolling completely onto it's side and then dropping like a stone all as if suspended in molasses.
Its impact shook the ground, and while I could see a fire from the rear, thankfully, it didn't explode, which meant if anyone survived, there was might be a chance for them.
There was stunned disbelief and an eerie silence that seemed to cover the battlefield as everyone just stood looking at the horrific scene before us, no one wanting to believe what had just happened had, or for that matter, knowing quite what to do now.
It was Adam who broke the tableau by sprinting forward towards the downed helicopter yelling into his radio, "Get your asses moving! I want the med evac set up right FUCKING now, and we need to get any survivors out of that helicopter!!!"
The boys had all turned and buried their heads into my chest, crying and moaning over and over again, "No, no, no, no, please Daddy no," begging me with those words to tell them what they had just seen hadn't happened, not really.
I realized there was a good chance that they had known some or all of the kids on that helicopter, and this was going to be devastating to them.
Hell, it was hitting me hard, and I didn't know any of them, but they were just kids.
When Adam started forward, we all broke off our hug and followed after him as fast as we could.
The kid seemed able to run unusually fast, I remember thinking, as I ran towards the downed helicopter.
I didn't want to look closely at some of the things which were on the ground and quickly looked away from those which my eyes did land upon.
Sadly, those would be forever etched into my memory for all time.
There were some things in this life you didn't want to see.
This was one of them, as I felt fresh tears coursing down my face, almost losing it when I saw the little shoe and what was still in it.
I ran past it and headed for one of the children who had been spilled out of the helicopter and was now lying on the ground.
I got to the kid, and noticed movement as I fell to my knees, thank God he was alive, I thought, as I gently and very carefully began to turn him over.
"Take it easy kid, we're gonna help you, just hold on," I told him, as I got him turned over and cried out in horror as I fell back from what confronted me but that wasn't the worst of it.
The worst of it was he was still alive.
The movement had been his heart which had been impaled with a piece of metal which beat in time with every heartbeat.
Every beat brought a corresponding shiver of the shrapnel embedded through his chest and every beat brought a gush of blood from around where it entered his young body.
He couldn't have been over twelve years old and he was still alive.
He looked up at me and I could see the pain in his eyes, the pain and the pleading as blood bubbled with each shallow torturous breath he tried to inhale.
He mouthed the word "Please" to me, and it was all I could do to keep control as the bile rose in my throat.
I could see he had broken bones as well in his arms and legs and God only knew what other injuries.
"We'll help you, just hang on, Son," I managed to get out, brushing his forehead gently as I reached for the radio that Adam had given to me a short time earlier.
"I need medical at five o'clock and fifty yards from the helicopter," I said into it, woodenly and looked back to see someone come running towards me.
He didn't waste any time as soon as he got close enough, he called for immediate evac of the boy and to my shock the child lying before me just disappeared.
The boy who came running didn't waste any time with me or the questions I now had, and ran to another injured person, as I started to look for more victims.
I could only hope that the injured child could be helped, as I began to walk away from the big wet patch in the ground, the only evidence that anyone had been there.
The next little while was one which I will probably pray every day for the rest of my life that I can forget, but somehow I know I won't.
I saw another sight during all this that I had time to think about, although it was the least of my worries then, and that was watching two figures run to the downed helicopter and literally begin ripping it apart from the bottom, tearing great chunks of metal out with their bare hands.
The how and why of it would have to wait until later, because right now, I had to try and find more victims.
It looked as if any remaining live ones were attended to, though, and so I made my way back towards the downed helicopter and the efforts there, to see if I could help out.
This time we came into a hospital room and there, on a bed was a teen age boy that looked the worse for the wear but my attention was immediately captivated by who was standing at the window looking out.
"Sammy," I cried as I started forward, but Pablo held me back saying, "No papa he can't see or hear you."
I turned to him and only then noticed the haunting melody playing over the speakers.
The haunting melody which I had heard play through my mind one other time, a time I wish I could forget with all my heart.
The day I thought I had lost him.
Sammy was softly singing the words to it and as he glanced back at the boy on the bed, I could see the tears silently running down his cheeks.
I wanted to wrap him in my arms so bad right now and my heart ached, seeing the expression on my little boy's face and the haunted pain filled look in his eyes.
It seemed that he had lost the life that had always been so vibrant deep within those pools of love and emotion.
Now they were dead and full of a number of things, none of which I was used to seeing there, at least not for a very long time.
"He needs me Pablo, you have to let me go to him," I begged, turning back around to face Pablo only to find that my angel boy was gone.
I heard a soft "Watch" in the air as I turned my gaze back to SamSam and saw that he was looking back out the window again, brokenly singing the words to the song.
"How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh now I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my Life."
It seemed as if the window became one into his soul as suddenly scenes began to appear on it and I realized that I was seeing what Sammy was looking at as he continued to sing the song softly
That first day in the coach; him being held for the first time in a long time while being comfortable with it.
That first night he spent in the house in Missoula and how he had a nightmare and came hesitantly into my room, afraid to ask but more afraid to be alone.
How I just lifted up the covers and he came flying in as if his life depended on it.
Holding him as he cried, from whatever dreams plagued his mind until he finally sighed and fell into a peaceful sleep with me holding him tightly the rest of the night.
The first morning I made chocolate chip pancakes for him and watching how he very cautiously nibbled at a small bite, being totally unsure about them.
Then watching as his eyes lit up like Christmas trees and he began wolfing it down so fast I was seriously concerned that he would choke on them.
His "Daaaaaaaaad" when I tried to get him to slow down, as if he was starving to death or something and I was suggesting sacrilege.
The first time he came home from school with a drawing he had made of me and him, with the words "I love you Daddy" written in big crayon letters beneath our two forms.
Reassuring him after I saw it, that all the tears running down my face weren't because I was sad but very, very happy.
And the song went on…
"Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in My life"
I saw the day I came home with his first ball and glove and how we spent hours outside just throwing the ball around and enjoying one another's company.
The times where he'd be afraid he'd done something wrong and I wouldn't want him anymore and the joy in his eyes when I'd take a hold of him and hug him, telling him that would never ever happen.
Oh the joy over every little hug and kiss which he had been missing was something I would never forget.
As the haunting question of "How do I live" faded and another song began, this one even more poignant and so true of us I watched as he sang along and the scenes went on.
"I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me.
You gave me strength
To stand alone again
To face the world
Out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me
You needed me"
His first real Christmas in a long time and how I knew I needed to make it special for him.
How we had gone out to look for the perfect tree for the occasion and the over two hours he had spent trying to decide which one was the best and would be perfect for us.
How he had watched biting his lip and warning me to be careful over and over again as I cut it down and brought it back to the house.
The three different trips out to the store, to get all the decorations he wanted, to make it just right and how by the time we were done, there wasn't a single space on the entire tree that wasn't lit up brighter than daylight.
But it was the look of pride on his face and in his eyes that I would always remember as I lifted him up to put the angel on the top of the tree and whispered into his ear "You'll always be my angel, SamSam."
Then watching, as he held his breath while plugging it in and seeing if it would actually light up and his unfettered joy when we became a shining beacon in the night for the world to see.
Watching how he had fought to stay awake all night long so he could see if Santa really would come for him or not, and then seeing the look on his face when he came down the steps to see everything that was sprawled out under the tree.
It had taken me most of the night to get it all arranged just right for him, but that look on his face made it all worth it.
I saw the tears streaking down my baby's face as he poured all his heart and soul into singing the song he loved so much and right now meant so much to the both of us.
"And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave
I'd be a fool
'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares
You held my hand
When it was cold
When I was lost
You took me home
You gave me hope
When I was at the end
And turned my lies
Back into truth again
You even called me friend."
The scenes continued as he relived all those good times we had shared like the excitement on his face as I took him up in the plane for the first time and then the first time I had allowed him to take the controls.
The day I had let him make his first landing and he almost wet himself he was so excited over it.
All of it meant so much to him, to me, to us.
I saw his first birthday party and how nervous he was, then how happy he was as everyone showed up and he lost himself in enjoying it, as it should be.
The first real sleepover with the Trinity and how they had come sneaking into my room in the morning, pouncing on me and scaring the hell out of me all so that I would get up and make breakfast for them.
All the times we would wrestle and play, ending with me letting him win or him surrendering after one of the many massive tickle attacks I would give him.
Then some of my favorite and his too, of memories of us just sitting at home on the sofa, watching TV, with him curled up on my lap and my arms wrapped securely around him, other times reading to him of far off Gwynedd, or Rukbat and even the fantastic planet of the Bloody Sun.
All the times we would be cuddled together, and he would fall asleep like that and I would just look down at this most wondrous creature that had come into my life, just thanking God for it as I would carry him up and get him to bed, sorry he was gone for the night and I would no longer have his presence for a time.
Not wanting to leave him, sometimes just standing there watching him for long periods as he slept, occasionally with him waking up and telling me to take a picture it would last longer, but all with such a look of love and understanding on his face that I knew he was pleased to find me there.
Then other scenes crept into what I was witnessing, scenes from the hard times in his life.
They started with ones that I knew came from before he had come into my life.
An elderly woman collapsed on the sofa with Sammy screaming, "Grandma" at the still form, desperately trying to wake her up.
Then more of what I knew were the group home and then foster home he had been in.
More recent times came to be like jumping out of the car to grab a young boy and save him from the man who wanted to kill him, the man should have been doing everything he could to protect the boy, but wasn't.
The mall and those fateful moments when he realized that he hadn't dodged the knife the older boy had been wielding.
The pain and lightheadedness, coupled with seeing me and what it did to me, but over it all mixed into the look in his eyes was something I hadn't really noticed before.
Pain, sadness, apology was all there in them but most of all was pride.
Pride in saving Brian, even if it meant he had gotten hurt or worse, he had done the right thing.
The confusion in his eyes over why they wanted to take him and the others away from the only home he'd known in a long time.
The hurried packing and concern over whether or not he'd ever see what had become his home once again, and then the frantic escape to Russia.
The ending where it was finally over and they got to go home, only to be diverted to Utah by some mysterious agency.
His worry and disbelief at what was to come and then his rage at seeing the boy, Adam, pointing a gun at his Dad.
Knowing how scared he had been that I would be shot, and his determination that they would pay a heavy price if they did it.
Then growing disbelief as he heard his Uncle Tony, and finally saw him walking out of the hangar trying to pull up his zipper.
Him knowing that if Tony was joking around, then everything was okay, even if it didn't seem that way right now.
Then that night and seeing the uncertainty and fear in his eyes that he was trying so hard to conceal, as he geared up to go with us, as we went to save the brother he never knew he had.
That fateful moment when a scream of "Adam" rang out in the night, followed by a gunshot and Jeremy falling, dying on top of the older boy.
Sammy bringing his gun up and firing just as he'd been trained, not thinking, not planning, just reacting to save others' lives.
Then the stunned horrified look on his face as he realized what he had just done.
The long flight back in the helicopter to Adam's base as they worked frantically to save a young boy's life while Ronnie held desperately to one side of me refusing to let go and I held Sammy on the other just as desperately.
Finally the look of pure terror that came across his face as he saw the blood coming from my shirt and I sank slowly down to the ground after having been shot just when he thought everything was alright again.
There were more scenes, but I couldn't see them through the tears streaming down my face now, but I could still here him as he sang the final words to the song, brokenly and desperately but trying anyway to get through it as I sang along with him
"You gave me strength
To stand alone again
To face the world
Out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me
You needed me"
I knew I needed to get back to him somehow, to hold him and let him know that everything was alright and to never let him go.
I turned and stumbling, called desperately "Pablito," but didn't get any answer.
"Pablito, please, I need to go home," I said again, as the final words fell about me
"You needed me, you needed me."
"You needed me, you needed me" I cried more than sang the end of the song.
Looking back out at the dolphin boy, I softly whispered "I need you too, Daddy, please don't leave me."
"Are you okay?" I heard from behind me, and quickly turned to find Cory trying to sit up.
"No you don't", I said moving rapidly over and pressing my hand against his good shoulder to push him back down.
I wondered how long he'd been awake and forgetting that I still had tears running down my face for the moment, hoped he hadn't seen me crying as he muttered, "I'm fine."
"Yeah right," I replied.
"I've gotta get up, there are so…" he started to say, but I cut him off and said, "You ain't goin nowhere, or I'll get that robot thingy to come back over here and put you to sleep or something."
"You don't understand," he told me, looking up at me.
I looked down into his haunted eyes for a moment before turning away and saying softly "Yeah, I do."
He repeated his question to me "Are you alright?"
I felt his hand on my arm trying to reassure me and tried to pull it together but it was getting harder and harder to do, and him squeezing my arm softly trying to help, wasn't.
"I'll…I'll be fine," I told him, turning back to face him before saying, "You need to rest though, and that means you stay in bed."
He just looked at me for a moment and I could see he cared, as he brought his hand up to my cheek and said, "Sammy?"
I pushed it away and tried to move from his grasp saying, "Don't!" but he wouldn't let me go.
"It's okay, Sammy," he told me.
He sat up anyway as I replied, "No it's not!"
I felt him pulling me into his arms and I struggled to get away.
"No, don't. I...I can't…"
"Shhh," he whispered as he held me and I could feel the tears coming, but this time I couldn't stop them.
"Please," I begged, but as if he were talking to Peter or Alexei he just said, "Shhh, it's gonna be alright."
I was crying now, but I had to make him see, "You…you…don't understand, I…I can't…I can't" but I could and did.
Everything hit me and I felt myself falling, letting go finally, letting all that had happened hit me and sweep over me in one massive wave.
I didn't want to, but it happened anyway, the barely held thread of control which I had been fighting to keep since all this had started broke and I couldn't mend it this time.
This wasn't a few tears; this was an ocean that I was suddenly drowning in.
His caring and warmth, the look in his eyes, all combined and broke through, and I couldn't stop it as it came pouring out, never to stop, I thought.
I don't know how long, injured and weak as he was, that he held me, but I finally became aware that I was wailing "Why?" over and over again like some little kid and tried to stop and get myself together.
As if he could sense what I was trying to do, he just said, "Let it out Sammy, let it all out," as he kept rubbing my back and crooning in my ear.
I found I couldn't stop it if I wanted to.
The gates which had opened now wouldn't be closed, and strangely enough, I found that being held in his arms felt good, real good and I felt like I could let it out.
Not that I had much choice, because it wouldn't stop, not until it wanted to, so for a while I was that little kid again.
All the crap that had happened, Peter, Brian, The trial, Derek and Chris, Utah and Jeremy, and now this, it all came pouring out.
I could sense, that for now at least, I didn't have to be strong for anyone and could just be a kid again.
It felt so good, so good for a change.
Finally though, I found the tears slowing and my breathing becoming more normal, as I looked up at him and asked again, "Why?" as I searched his eyes for an answer.
He dealt with stuff, with people like who had hurt my family all the time, maybe he'd have an answer to that question.
But I could see the sadness in his eyes and face that told me before he even began to answer my question.
"I don't know," he told me, like others had before him.
Was there anyone who had the answer to that question?
"Better?" he asked me softly, still holding me tightly.
I realized then that it was something I had been wanting from Dad since he got shot and I was terrified that I would never get another from him as I returned the hug he was giving me.
"Thanks, I'm sorry for acting like such a baby though," I told him, looking at him again.
He wasn't letting me go though, and I really liked the feeling of his arms around me.
"Hey, it's not being a baby to be hurting and need someone's shoulder to cry on, trust me, been there and done that."
Looking into his eyes, I realized that he had.
I looked away and said, "It's so hard sometimes."
"I know," he replied before adding, "You need to learn to not try and take on everything yourself."
"How do you do that?" I asked him, bitterly.
"You got your family bro, let them be there for you," he told me.
"Do I? Dad might be dead and some of the others too, and it's them I have to be strong for," I replied, feeling the tears again.
"Not if these guys here have anything to say about it, and you know what if your Dad does die, you have the rest of your family to be there for you," he told me.
I shook my head and said sadly, "It's not supposed to be this way. I finally got a family, we all did and…and now…"
"Right now, you still do, until you hear different. As to being strong, you'll find that by letting them share the problems as well as the good things, that you'll all be closer for it," he said.
"You don't understand. They've been through so much. I had a good home til grandma died. Sure, I had it rough for a while, but it's nothing like what Peter or Brian went through. I found Dad and Uncle Eric along with the Trinity and I've had a good life since then. They've lived through years of shit and now that they've finally got someone to love them, this happens. It's not fair," I told him, trying to make him see the why of it.
He looked at me seriously for a moment without saying anything and then said, "Sammy, whether or not you lived through 'years' of stuff happening to you, or just a little while doesn't make any difference. They're your family now, and sharing the pain and the bad times makes the good ones all the more special. You're right, it's not fair but you're not allowing them to be there for you isn't fair either. It'll hurt, but it's better to hurt together than taking it all on yourself. I got a brother who really jumped on my case for doing that. He was right, and I had to learn to let them help, even though it's real hard at times. I try to take everything on myself and end up sometimes doing more harm to myself, than good for others."
I just looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out how to tell him how hard that was when you could feel what they felt and just wanted to stop their hurting and fear yet how could I tell him something like that, without telling him what grandma said to never tell anyone.
I hadn't even told Dad, the only ones who knew were the Trinity because they could do it too, but they wouldn't ever tell either.
Uncle Eric knew sorta, but he just thought it was them and being twins that was the answer.
It was more, but I wasn't sure what it was exactly.
"What're you thinking about?" he asked and I realized that I had zoned out for a moment.
"A saying I heard somewhere that what you said reminded me of, 'sometimes bad things have to happen so that the good things can' and" looking up at him I continued, "I…I don't know how to do that."
"We'll help, you've got a lot of new family that'll teach you if you let them, and we'll be here no matter what happens," Cory said smiling gently at me.
About that time, another boy came running into the curtained off area we were in with a worried look on his face as he gasped, "Are you alright babe?" and I realized that he was so wholly focused on Cory that he hadn't even noticed me there.
I pulled away and stood up as Cory turned to the auburn headed teenager and said "I'm fine, Honey"
"You don't look fine," the other boy said, taking Cory gently into his arms and kissing him, still looking worried.
"I am now or at least as much as I am gonna be for a while," he said before saying, "Sean, I'd like you to meet Sammy, Sammy, this is my life mate, Sean."
Sean turned and looked at me as I said "Hello"
"Hi" he said before asking "Who exactly are you?"
"He's the one who talked me into getting treated instead of dying out there," Cory replied waving back towards the rest of the ER.
Sean turned his gaze back to me from Cory as he had been speaking, before saying, "Thank you, he's real stubborn at times."
"I didn't do all that much, just told him he should get some help," I said, as I felt my face turn red.
"You'll like him, he's a real bossy little guy," Cory said, with a small smile.
I just knew by how hot I felt, that my face was even redder as Sean said, "Someone has to be, with you."
They'd never stopped touching each other since Sean came into the room, and I thought that was so neat and so unlike what I was used to.
Sean was looking at me strangely and I guess I had been caught staring at them as he asked, "Is something wrong?"
"Ah no, it's just…well, you're gay aren't you?" I said.
"Yeah, is that a problem?" he asked, still looking at me intently.
"Oh no. It's not, it's just that you're so open about it and all, it's really nice to see that," I quickly said to them.
"I suppose you don't get to see that much, do you?" Cory asked.
I shook my head and said, "Not outside the family. I got two brothers who are, and another one that thinks he might be, but they were so scared of anyone finding out about it. They'd never show it like you two did, in public."
"What about you?" Sean asked.
"I don't know, and I don't care either," I replied.
"What do you mean?" Cory asked.
"I don't know and it doesn't matter to me one way or the other. If I am, then I am and it's fine with me. I'm only eleven, and Dad says that there's time to figure it out. I know he'll love me no matter what, and so will my brothers and Uncle Eric, so that's all that matters to me if I am," I said shrugging.
"It doesn't bother you what people will say?" Sean asked.
I thought about it for a minute or two then answered, "Yeah, in a way it does, cause people can be so mean, but then again not really, cause the ones that matter to me won't care none."
Both older boys nodded their heads at that and then Sean asked, "So where did you come from? I know I've seen you somewhere before."
I looked down and said, "You guys saved me and my family," as it all came back again.
"Sean, this is Mike Reynolds' son," Cory said to him.
"I'm really sorry about what happened to your family, Sammy, we all are," Sean replied.
"Thanks," I said, not sure what to say now.
"I was just telling him that he's got a lot of new family to help him and his now," Cory told Sean.
"Yeah, you do and we've been helping for a while, even though you didn't know it," Sean said with a smile, but that hit me and I guess it showed on my face, as Cory asked "What's wrong Sammy?" as I turned and walked over to the window, looking out again at the dolphin boy swimming so happily.
I really liked them and now, this.
I knew I would have to tell them what I did to two members of their family, and I knew how they protected their own.
I had just met them, but now I figured they'd hate me and I'd end up losing my new 'family', as I felt tears start to form.
I couldn't seem to stop crying.
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder squeezing gently and Sean's voice say, "What is it, Sammy? We can help if you'll let us."
"Not with this, you can't," I replied.
"Try us," was all he said.
His hand never left trying to comfort me, and I had to tell him what I'd done.
"I'm afraid you'll hate me, and I don't want that," I said softly.
"We'd never hate you, Sammy," Cory said from his bed.
This wasn't going to get any easier I thought, as I took a deep breath and standing up straighter turned and faced them.
"Yes you will, cause I hurt some of your family," I told them, looking each of them in the eyes as I said it.
I could feel the shock come from both of them, as Sean asked, "What do you mean you hurt some of our family?"
I couldn't take the look in their eyes, and dropped mine as I said, "I almost killed Ian and if Clint wasn't already shot, I would have him too."
"WHAT?" both said, at the same time.
"Maybe you'd better explain that," Cory said to me in an icy voice.
I looked back up at him and Sean and the friendliness I had seen earlier was gone, as I tried to figure out some way of telling them without telling them how I knew.
"I thought they were with the FCC" I finally said.
"Why would you think that?" Sean asked.
I looked down, not wanting them to see me, cause I didn't want to lie to them, but I couldn't tell them the truth, or at least the whole truth.
"When…when they attacked, I saw Ian talking on a radio. I thought he…I thought that he was part of it," I finally said into the silence.
"There's more though, isn't there Sammy?" Cory asked me, softly.
"No, that's it. I mean I kind of thought it odd them showing up and all the way they did, but it was just…" I said quickly, but Cory interrupted me with one word, "Sammy,"
"Please? I'm sorry, I didn't know they were your family and part of the Clan, I didn't" I told them looking down again.
Suddenly there was a hand lifting my chin up as Cory said, "What else?"
"Nothing," I told him.
"Sammy, I don't like people who lie to me," Cory said, and that made me mad.
"I don't lie, ever! I'm telling you the truth just…I mean I'm telling you the truth," I snapped.
"Just not all of it," Sean replied, looking at me with his head tilted slightly.
I quickly looked away, wondering what I was going to do now.
"What's the rest of the story, Sammy?" Cory asked.
"Please, I can't tell you, and…and you wouldn't believe me if I did," I muttered.
I turned away from them and didn't know what to do, but Cory said, "You'd be surprised what we would believe, and I think you know you can trust us."
I turned back around and begged, "Please, I can't tell you. If I did then I know you'd hate me."
They just looked at me and I didn't know what to do.
I could feel that they cared and wanted to help, but they had no idea, and if I told them they wouldn't anymore.
Finally I said, "You don't understand, my grandma told me to never tell no one, and I haven't. Not even my Dad knows, I didn't even tell him, and I tell him everything, only the Trinity knows my secret, and they'll keep it forever. My grandmother told me all my life that if people found out then they'd be afraid of me, and hate me. Please don't make me tell you."
I could feel more tears falling as Cory and Sean looked at each other before Cory turned back to me and said, "We won't 'make' you do anything, Sammy but I can tell you that no matter what it is, we won't hate you and do you really think your Dad would, as much as he loves you?"
"I've been too scared to find out. I can't lose him, he's all I got, him and my family," I told them.
"Maybe it's time you did. From what I know of Mike, he'd never hate you or stop loving you. I'm sure your grandmother was trying to protect you, the best she knew how, and she might even be right about most people, but I bet your family and your Dad she's wrong about, and I can tell you she is wrong about us," Cory told me.
"Maybe it is time," I whispered, as I looked up at them.
"You remember that song you were singing when you woke up? Well, I think I know how much it means to you and what it says about you and your Dad, but just remember he needs you as much as you need him. You and your brothers are his life and I don't think he's gonna throw that away," Cory said.
I looked long and hard at the two of them but could feel nothing but caring and support coming from them, as I finally said, "It's hard after all this time. There's things I can do. Things others can't. I can 'feel' people, sense them. I can even sometimes know what they are thinking, and sometimes I can see what's gonna happen before it does."
They didn't say anything, but the hate and fear I was almost waiting for wasn't there, so taking a deep breath I continued.
"When Clint and Ian came to us, I could feel that they weren't telling the truth. With everything that had been happening…well, I thought they…I thought they might be more people trying to hurt us in some way. At first, I thought they were lying, but Dad asked me to think about it and when I did, I realized that they weren't lying so much as they were hiding something, but I couldn't tell what. I was so sure that it was bad, that when I saw Ian talking on the radio when we got attacked, I just reacted and…and I'm sorry,"
I looked up and saw them looking at me, as Sean said, "It's alright Sammy, I can understand why you did it."
Cory nodded his head in agreement, but I shook mine.
"You don't understand, I was wrong, I was wrong about them," I told them.
I could see that they didn't get it and Cory finally said, "Everyone makes mistakes and you had reason to think what you did."
"It's not that. I've never been wrong before. Never. I can feel someone, and I'm always right, but this time it was wrong," I said.
I could see the look of understanding on Cory's face, but his next words surprised me, "You've always relied on this gift, all of your life, haven't you? You've always used it to know if someone was going to hurt you or be safe and now you think it's failed you, don't you?"
I could only nod my head, as that was exactly what had happened and I said, "More than that though, I relied on it and it almost killed someone."
"Did it?" Sean asked me, causing my head to pop up as I answered "Yes, they weren't bad people."
"No they're not, although Clint being straight is kinda weird around here, but was your gift really wrong about them? It told you that they were hiding something, and they were, and with everything happening to your family, if it had been me, I probably would've have thought the same thing. Then when the attack started, you saw him on his communicator, and thought the worst." Cory said seriously.
I thought about it for a minute then said, "So it wasn't my gift that was wrong, it was me?"
"Yes and no. It was right, and under the circumstances, you came to a logical conclusion, because you didn't have all the facts, but that conclusion was wrong. I don't blame you for thinking what you did, and I will make damn sure it never happens again, you should've been told," Sean told me.
"You don't hate me for it?" I asked.
"No, not for that or for your gift," Cory said, and I let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding.
"We told you so," Sean said, smiling.
"I think maybe we should introduce him to the Wonder Twins when everything dies down a bit," Cory said, causing Sean to nod.
"Wonder Twins?" I asked
Smiling, Cory said, "Yeah you'll like them and they can help you out a bit, I think."
I didn't know what to think of that, but a more pressing worry hit me, "How am I ever going to tell Ian how sorry I am."
"Just sit down and tell him. Then I think you should have a long conversation with your Dad. I bet ya he knows already, and has just been waiting for you to tell him," Sean said.
"I wish I could change things. I wish none of this had ever happened. Not to Ian and not to you guys and your family. I wish…"
"You know you seem to like songs that mean something and there's one I really like that I think you might, as well. It also says a lot" Cory said, looking at me.
When I nodded he started, "It goes like this…." And began to sing softly,
"Looking back, on the memory of,
The dance we shared, beneath the stars above,
For a moment, all the world was right,
How could I have known, that you'd ever say goodbye,
And now, I'm glad I didn't know,
The way it all would end, the way it all would go,
Our lives, are better left to chance,
I could have missed the pain,
But I'd a had to miss, the dance.
Holding you, I held everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king.
If I'd only known, how the king would fall.
Well who's to say, you know I might have changed it all…"
Cory was right; this song said so many things that struck deep into my heart. For a moment, for three years, the world was right; I wish I had known though, the way it all would end, the way it all would go. I wish we all could have missed the pain and I didn't think if I could that I would leave our lives left to chance, not if I could stop it and I damn sure knew after today that I wanted to miss that pain. And yes, I was the king for a time and now I'd fallen, my family had fallen, our lives had been forever changed.
As I felt the tears run down my face, all I could think was that the guy who sang it was wrong, if I could change things, I would so no one would ever have been hurt, not Dad or my brothers, and not Cory and his family.
I knew I would have changed it all in a heartbeat, I would have missed the dance and but most importantly, I would have missed the pain.
"No Sammy," I cried as Maman asked qu'est-ce que c'est ?
"Quelque chose mal, mauvais mal. Ne le laissez pas le faire maman" I gasped
"Something's wrong? Stop who? Mon chere"
"Sammy"
It was about then that, that voice came screaming over the radio again "SHIT! They got another SAM! Helena, break left!!!"
I turned in horror and started looking, although I didn't have far to search as the big Hind went into evasive maneuvers in what I knew would be just as pointless as the first helicopter's had been.
Another bunch of children were about to die, and no one and nothing could stop it, I knew, as I watched the missile head inexorably towards its target.
Suddenly there was another aircraft flying directly towards the Hind, and a voice screaming on the radio, "Viper 8! Dennis! What are you doing? Get the hell outta there!!!" followed by a calm and steady voice replying, "What we have to," and the first voice crying out, "Dennis, NO!!"
I held my breath in horror as the Huey suddenly pulled up and came to a stop directly in the path of the missile which took it for a target instead of the passenger ship.
Coupled with one last strangled, "No!" coming over the radio, the battleship took the hit for the kids in the passenger craft, exploding in a fiery inferno while the girl screamed for the Hind to get out of the area.
"Greater love hath no man….." was the only thing that ran through my mind, as I stared in stunned disbelief at the rain of debris falling in slow motion from their sacrifice to the ground below.
I finally shook myself from the sight of what I had just witnessed, and turned back towards the first helicopter only to see Adam and another boy carrying two small dark forms from it.
It was only as I got closer that I saw what those forms were, or used to be.
Sweet Jesus, I muttered as I saw the small blackened bodies of what once were children, the oldest of which couldn't be more than five.
I had seen burn victims before, and knew that if they were still alive now they wouldn't be for long.
I had to fight back the nausea at seeing what was left of their tiny bodies along with the condition they were in.
All I could think was that fortunately it looked like massive third degree burns meaning all the nerves were burned away which blessedly meant they wouldn't be feeling any pain.
That was the only good thing about it.
Adam looked devastated and I made the connection upon seeing the look on his face as he gazed down at the child in his arms that this must have been the name he had gasped out when he first saw the missile heading for the helicopter, Kent.
I followed them over to the medical area and stood quietly by as they each laid their burdens down with Adam looking up desperately at the Oriental Boy only to watch as he lowered his gaze.
There would be no help for them.
My heart broke as I watched Adam tenderly brush a lock of unburned hair from the small boy's forehead and plead, "Don't leave me now, little brother, I just found you."
Then the other boy called out, "JJ we need you," and I looked over to see another boy come running up.
I watched as he turned a pasty color and brought his hand up to his mouth obviously trying not to be sick as he gagged at the sight awaiting him, then spoke rapidly to someone by radio I presume, asking for emergency transport of the two burned babies.
Then, again, like the injured boy I had found earlier, the two disappeared to wherever they were being sent to.
I kind of felt that maybe they should have been left to go with those that loved them here to be with them, but I didn't say anything.
Adam hung his head after they had left and began to sob mournfully, finally crying out in anguish, "I was supposed to protect them, and now look," just as I got to him and sinking down to my knees took the devastated child into my arms and pulled him close.
"You couldn't have known, and you did the best you could," I told him, knowing that this kid was on the edge of losing it and losing it badly.
Hell, I was too, but from what I could tell, him losing it would be far worse for this group than me doing the same.
I had to get through to him somehow and make him see it for himself that it wasn't his fault.
"It's my job to know, and it sure looks like my best wasn't enough, doesn't it?" he said bitterly, as he cried into my chest and I softly stroked his back.
"Sometimes we can't protect those we love most, or know everything, Son. You can't beat yourself up over not being a God, You're not," I told him.
"Why? Why did this have to happen?" he asked me, sobbing, and I thought about it, knowing it was a question all of us would be asking for a long, long time to come.
I wasn't sure I had an answer for him, but I also knew I had to try.
"It happened because there are people out there who hate, who hate for no reason other than hate itself," I finally said softly to him.
"I promised them that they wouldn't get hurt anymore and now look," he said plaintively.
"Was there anything you could have done differently? Was there any aspect of their training that you neglected? Was there any way you could have known just what was going to happen, today?" I asked him, as I gently brushed my fingertips across his forehead, trying to comfort him.
He didn't answer for a few moments which meant I had actually gotten him to think through the questions, until finally he said, with obvious reluctance, "No."
"They need you more now more than ever, Adam, you're their leader, and you need to lead now," I said gently but firmly, to him.
I felt him take a deep breath and then he pulled away and looked up at me.
"You're right, thanks," he replied, as I hugged him once more before releasing him and allowing him to get up.
I held out my hand, helping him up as he turned and asked, "Is everyone out of there?"
"I believe so" the other boy answered as a voice screamed "It's gonna go any minute," and Adam yelled, "Everyone get back, it's going to blow up."
Then a voice that froze my heart echoed across the area, "Kevin, come back!" as I looked frantically towards the sound of it, only to see Kevin running towards the burning helicopter.
"KEVIN, NO!!! GET BACK!!!" I screamed, and realized that Adam was yelling the same, as I took off towards my son.
All I could do was watch in horror, as he approached the burning copter and disappeared inside it as he called back, "There's someone still alive in there."
I knew we'd never get there in time to stop him or help him.
Then he was running back out of the nearly fully engulfed helicopter, with a small figure, held protectively in his arms.
I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, when someone yelled, "GET DOWN!!! IT'S GOING!!!"
I saw Kevin throw the child forward onto the ground and jump on top of him, as I hit the ground and then the world exploded around us as the helicopter blew, finally.
God I hoped all the kids were out of there.
We stayed down for what seemed like an eternity, due to all the flying debris and heat from the massive explosion, until I heard Randy scream terrified, "Oh my God, Kevin, DAD, CHANG somebody!!!"
There was such horror and desperation in that cry, that I was on my feet and running without even thinking about it or realizing it before the echo had died away.
I got close enough to see my boy and fell to my knees in horror at what confronted me as I cried softly with tears running down my face, "Oh Kevin what have you done?" and reached out to gently turn his little body over.
The piece of metal sticking out of his back, almost at his side, and the blood flowing out of it tore my heart into pieces as he gasped, "Couldn't …let…Andy…die."
I was watching his life leaving him with every pump of his heart, as I glanced over to the battered and burned body of the young boy he had tried to save.
"Is…he…" he tried to ask, but couldn't for the coughing that overtook his small frame.
"Shhh," I cried softly to him as Chang worked on him, but I knew it was no good for either him or the young child he had given his life for.
"Kevin you're going to be alright, just hang on, Son," I cried, breaking down as his pain wracked face looked up at me.
There was nothing I could do but watch him die in my arms and I finally fully understood what Mike went through with Sammy.
A third of my world was slipping away, as I cradled him in my arms.
"Don't die Kev, please don't die," Danny cried while Randy just sat there on his knees staring at Kev in shock.
I turned to the oriental boy who seemed to be a doctor and begged with everything in me "Please help him," before I looked back at my baby boy.
Suddenly the boy JJ, ran up, and Kevin was gone from my arms and replaced by two hysterically crying boys, the two I had left, as I just gave in to all the pain, flowing through me and joined them in crying for what we had just lost.
A piece of our souls had just disappeared with his small body and for a while, I became lost in the overwhelming pain that had become my heart.
"Eric, we have to get to the command center," Adam said as I turned and stared up at him.
Why?
What did it matter anymore was all that I could think about, as I held my babies close.
"Eric, we can't stay here, we have to go. Kev is getting the best care out there right now, but we have to start planning how to avenge him, and the others. These people have a hell of a lot to answer for, and the only way they're gonna is if we start figuring out how," he said to me.
He was right, they did have a lot to answer for and that's all I had left right now.
Vengeance for my son, making them pay for his life.
"Will Kevin be alright?" Randy suddenly asked, looking up at Adam with a stricken look on his face.
"I hope so, little guy, they're doing all they can, now it's our turn," he replied.
I guess giving Randy and Danny a little hope couldn't hurt right now, because they would find out the truth soon enough.
Kevin wouldn't, couldn't survive wounds like that, no one could.
I'd lost a son, and they'd lost a brother, but they didn't need to know that yet, time enough for them to find out the truth, later.
"Yeah it is," Randy said, and I heard something in his voice that made me look at him closely.
What I saw shocked me as he pulled himself from my arms and standing up said, "Come on guys, let's get to the command center," as he turned and began to walk resolutely in that direction.
The look that was in his eyes should never be in anyone's eyes, but especially those of a child.
Danny quickly caught up with him as I stared after them for a moment, before following with Adam at my side.
"I'll never forgive them, for that alone," I said softly.
"What?" Adam asked me.
"For taking their innocence away, for taking their childhood," I said for the look in my son's eyes was one I never wanted to see there.
It had been a look of something lost and taken away from him with something else in it's place that chilled me to the bone.
"Samuel, if you would be so kind as to join us. I realize that you don't particularly care for science, and all the explanations of how things work, but since it is a required subject for your education, at least a modicum of participation would be beneficial for your grade in this class," the voice said as I shook my head.
"Huh?" I said, as I looked up into Mr. Edwards unhappy face.
The rest of the class snickered.
I felt myself shiver, as the last images faded from my mind, oh man, what a nightmare and I wasn't even asleep, I thought as I noticed Kieron staring at me, concerned.
The one image of the blond haired teen, bloody and battered wouldn't leave though, as I tried to focus instead on my science class.
"Now, as I was saying would someone please care to enlighten us on the process of photosynthesis, Sammy?" Mr. Edwards asked, turning back to me.
Oh boy, what was wrong with the idea of it just is?
Author's notes:
Well, that is Part 1 of The Rescue, and it was difficult to write. I hope you enjoyed it if that's the right word. So much is going on and this all has been extremely hard to co-ordinate and get planned out between everyone. I want to take a moment to thank everyone involved for all their painstaking care in bringing this massive undertaking to fruition. It has been extremely difficult but also extremely rewarding to see everything start to come together. AC, Jeff and Akeentia have spent a great deal of time and effort in this and have helped immeasurably in making this chapter come together and work right. Thanks to them for the use of their characters in the story, especially Cory and Sean for Sammy. A special thanks to Roland who was an integral part of this chapter and even wrote the basis for Mike's Dream Sequence; where he is in the hospital room with Sammy. It brought tears to my eyes when I first read it, long before I integrated it into the story itself. I am already working on The Rescue Part 2, so look for that soon, hopefully. Until next time………DS
Editor's Notes:
I want to thank all the same people that DarkStar thanked, and then of course, thank Dark Star for writing his story in the first place. He blamed me for writing the story to begin with, so I guess I can take a little credit for this. I have told that story before, so if you read these editors notes, you have already seen me get embarrassed. I used a couple of boxes of Kleenex before I was finished editing it. Of course there is still part two, and believe me there is going to be a lot more to tell. I know people complain about flashbacks, but in all honesty, they often bring us information that we otherwise wouldn't have, like learning about Pablito, for instance. I love that boy. I wonder if he was the boy that showed up in the Christmas story a couple of years ago. Grin.
Don't forget to check out the other chapters in the All Hell Breaks Loose section of the CSU. More chapters will be coming along shortly.
Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher
Clan Short Archivist's Review Notes:
Well we now have another piece of "All Breaks Loose" Part Two we have now seen the battle from several different view points. I know that The Radio Rancher and I have been bugging Dark Star for more of Mike's past but this was not the way we envisioned.
Although it is a very terrible thing anytime a child loses his or her innocence here at least we were able to see what truly fine individuals they may grow up as. Too see children giving their own lives to save others; and their families first is a shining light compared to was children are viewed in the Real World. Unfortunately these chapters bear a striking resemblance to what is happening in the Real World. Hopefully those who are using children to accomplish their misbegotten goals will someday be brought to justice.
This is another wonderfully integrated piece of "All Hell Breaks" loose and I wish it wasn't as poignantly written; as it took me several days before I recovered enough to edit it.
The Story Lover