Out Of The Past

This house seemed so empty without my little ones running around plus the new ones.

God how I missed them, but they were gone now, I just hoped I would be able to get them back soon.

Life seemed so empty without them in it.

Such a short time and already it felt way too long, I thought as I felt the tears breaking loose, and falling down my face.

Everything was how I left it, suitcases scattered on the floor in disarray, various things scattered here and there. 

Evidence of life that was painfully absent now. 

I just sat down in a daze, letting my gaze wander around slowly. I didn't want to go upstairs where I might see their rooms, find their clothes scattered about, smell their young presence, I didn't want that much of a reminder, although before long I knew I'd be up there, holding their shirts to my face, trying desperately to inhale their fragrance, in an attempt to bring them back to me in some small way.

I just sat there knowing that I would have to leave soon enough as I thought of them.

Their smiles, the twinkle in their eyes, when they were up to something, and that mischievous look that they tried so hard to mask, with one of innocence but didn't succeed. 

This whole thing was not fun.

Eventually, I gave up and began walking where I swore I wouldn't. 

Each step was leaden, as I took them slowly, I suppose in some attempt to torture myself, but I couldn't stop myself as I ascended the steps anyway. 

Upon reaching the top, I could see their rooms, and felt fresh tears falling, as I approached, to see their clothes scattered everywhere from when they had packed. 

I stopped, just inside the room, and looked at it all.

It was all boy, that was for sure, messy.

All the time we had yelled at them to please clean their rooms, and now I just wish they had been here so I could, but they weren't. 

It was just me, and the ghosts of what was haunting a place, that had been so filled with life and love, oh so recently.

I stumbled to the bed and sat down, where at least one of them and probably all of them, had slept so recently, just letting the tears fall.

I wanted my babies back.

DAMN THAT BITCH!

Rage was a lot easier to deal with, than the grief surging through me, I thought as I fantasized various ways in which I could exact a very painful revenge, on the reason for the loss of my family, and all the pain flowing through me right now.

Sadly, it was a distraction that didn't last long enough, and the rage melted away, to be replaced once again, with the hollow empty feeling that I was beginning to dread. 

What was I going to do?

I didn't know. 

I was so used to their being in my life, now I was alone again, and I didn't know what to do, nor did I like it.

I reached out and pulled a pillow from the bed, to my face, inhaling boy scent, into my nostrils, as I collapsed onto the bed, sobbing uncontrollably, as I smelled the recent presence of my babies. 

God, I missed them so much.

I lay there for a while, but knew I had to get up, no matter how much it hurt to do so, and get going to a very important appointment.

It might determine the fate of the kids, and I couldn't miss it.

I got up, finally taking one final breath, to carry me through, and went to the bathroom, where I saw more reminders, as I washed my face, and dried it, trying to wash away the pain from it, but knowing that it didn't work, as soon as I looked in the mirror.

With that done, I headed downstairs, straightening my clothes, before going to the door, and pulling it open.

There was a state police officer there, one of the ones that had been brought in, not a local, or he would have known better as he said, "I'm sorry sir, but you can't leave your house." 

I ignored him, and pulled the door closed; making sure it was locked, as they had wanted to search it earlier, before turning and beginning to walk towards my car.

"Sir, stop, you're not allowed to leave the property," he said, once again.

I looked at him briefly, before saying, "fuck off." and started to walk past him.

He reached out and grabbed my arm, and I swung around grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back, as I swept my foot out and took him down to the ground.

He was immobilized before he could finish his scream of surprise, and I quickly removed his handcuffs, from their holster, placed them on his wrists, as I said, "don't ever fucking touch me again," leaving him lying there, as I kept walking.

By now, he was screaming epitaphs at me, and promising dire retribution, as I reached my door and entered the vehicle. 

I didn't really care anymore, there was only one thing I cared about, as I started the car, and pulled out heading for the highway, my kids.

The drive was uneventful, leaving me with my thoughts, as I tried to get it together, and more importantly, for what was to come, keep it together.

Eventually, I reached the courthouse, and pulled up in front, watching the circus that I would have to traverse, to get inside.

They had noticed me, as I parked, and were waiting for me, as I exited the vehicle.

They were vultures, waiting to pounce. 

I made it as far as the steps, before one of the reporters questions brought me to a standstill, and I had to exert every ounce of control, not to deck him where he stood.

I slowly turned around, and fixed him with my gaze, and if looks could kill, he would be very dead right now, but he was too stupid to see that, although others apparently could, as a deathly silence fell over the crowd.

"I had not intended to say anything, but I am going to make a short statement after all. I will not take any questions, so save your voices." I told them. 

When I was sure they understood that, although I had no hope of it making any difference at all, I continued.

"It is a very difficult situation, when people can make any type of allegations they choose to, and the people accused, are not allowed, by law, to respond to them. Many, view not responding, as giving the allegations truth, or at least adding weight to them. Let me say right now, that the reason there has been no response, is that by law, we cannot say anything about the cases in question. Believe me, when I say that all of us, who are involved in this very sad situation, would like to speak, and tell you everything, because frankly, our lives are being turned upside down, by the lies that have been promulgated."

There were gasps at that, but I quickly continued.

"I will say the following, and it may be skirting the law a bit, but I am going to say it anyway. These allegations were made by a discredited, and former employee, of Child Protective Services, who has some very bizarre views, views which are not in the best interest of the welfare of children, and was trying to exact revenge, for being fired. These views were passed onto a local television station, who without verifying their facts, sensationalized them, and tried to create a story from them. This station was told, in no uncertain terms, on air, that the information they had was incorrect, and unfounded, and not to air it. They choose to do so, and we are now here, because of it." 

I paused, looking at them, and could see predatory gleam in their eyes before I went on.

"I will say this about the two boys and the question of abuse occurring or not as the step father, and it is STEP not the father, and his arrest record is public knowledge. There is absolute irrefutable evidence of massive physical abuse, of BOTH boys, as well as psychological and emotional abuse. There is also clear evidence of unlawful restraint, intimidation and terroristic threats, involving the boys, by their stepfather. The stepfather has also been charged, with resisting and assault on a police officer. If any of you think, massive physical abuse, causing great bodily harm, is acceptable for any alleged conduct, by a child, then you are mistaken. Nothing justifies what was done to these children." 

I stopped as they were completely silent now.

I hoped, thinking about what I had just said.

"The issue of Sammy jumping into two situations, was very brave and very frightening, for all involved. Sam saw something that needed to be done, and did it without thought, of the possible consequences. Trust me, when I say, that he will be thinking about them, in the future." I hope "He saved two boys from at least being seriously injured, and possibly worse. He was not told to do it, nor was he allowed to do it. He went ahead when he saw someone who needed help; someone younger, in one case and incapable of protecting themselves, in both cases, and did it. If anything he is a hero. Two young boys, certainly think so, it's a pity you don't seem to agree. I will make a general comment; that does not necessarily apply to any of this, but it is this, sex play between two near age children, is not the same as one molesting the other, no matter what you have been told. As to the allegation I heard, when I came up the steps, I find that disgusting, and it NEVER happened. Now, because of baseless allegations, by a nasty bitch, people's lives are being ruined, and children, some of whom have been hurt enough, as it is, are having their, already traumatized lives, turned upside down, yet again, for nothing. Good morning." I concluded and quickly turned away.

They of course went ballistic, shouting questions endlessly, as I pulled the door open and entered into the courthouse. 

I ignored all of them, and they weren't allowed in, thankfully. 

I figured I had said more than enough, but I didn't care anymore, they were destroying my family, they were the reason they weren't here with me now.

I walked down the corridor to the elevator, and waited for it to arrive, wondering what the result of this would be. 

So many possibilities, and there was no telling what may come of it. 

I could have my kids back, if everything went well.

Please God, or whomever watched over little ones in need, let it be alright, let them come home, I sent the prayer upwards, with all my heart and soul behind it, hoping it would be heard, as the elevator doors opened, and I entered into them to find out what fate had in store for us.

I exited out of the elevator, and headed down to the room which would decide so much. 

It didn't look like much, just a plaque on the door saying, 203, as I stared at it for a moment, before taking a deep breath and reaching out to pull the door open. 

The courtroom seats were filled and all eyes turned to me, as I entered and paused, just inside the doorway. 

There was an undercurrent, which swept the room, as people whispered amongst themselves, probably telling them, "there he is", or some such, as I began the march to the front of the room, where the attorney's tables were located. 

Alan was there, along with two other people, as well as Judge Mason, but no Millie.

I went forward, and took my place, beside Alan, and waited. 

I recognized the two people next to Alan now; one was the county attorney, representing CPS, and the Sheriff's department while the other was the assistant director of CPS, Millie's right hand man.

"What do you think?" I asked Alan, who shrugged his shoulders in response. 

He had no clue either.

I sat there, trying not to fidget, as the minutes dragged by, until the court deputy suddenly stood and said, 

"All rise, this court is now in session, for the Honorable Judge Jaime Kendall," causing all of us to rapidly stand, while the judge entered, through the door from his chambers.

Judge Kendall was a no nonsense judge, from everything I had heard, and didn't take kindly to bullshit, which might be a help.

He got to his seat, and took it, but unlike usually, he didn't tell us to sit, he just glared out at us, and said, 

"First of all, no interruptions, or I'll clear this courtroom. Secondly, items of a sensitive nature are going to be discussed here today, make sure nothing identifiable about the children involved makes it's way out of my courtroom. You may be seated."

We sat. 

"I want to start by saying, I find this case to be highly unusual, and I'm not happy about it. The state coming in and trying to overturn not only the duly constituted child protection agency. Who has already made it's ruling, but an order made by a Superior court judge, troubles me greatly. I'll be frank, I hope you have a hell of a lot more to go on than I've heard so far." he said, to the State's Attorney, who clearly did not like what he was hearing.

"He's trying to decide whether to ask for a recusal by the judge." Alan informed me, in an aside.

I just watched, as nothing was said, and the judge continued, "Well then let's hear it."

The State's Attorney stood up, and began.

"Your honor, enough evidence has been presented, to justify our request..." but was interrupted.

"Why don't you let me decide that, since I am the judge, and that is what this hearing is supposed to determine." Judge Kendall snapped.

"Umm, yes your honor." he replied meekly.

"Good."

I could see the guy sweating, and trying to gather his thoughts, in this matter and then he continued.

"Your honor, we plan on presenting a case, showing systematic abuse, under the current administration, of the CPS, in this region. Further, there will be numerous witnesses, to that effect. The opposing side in this, has stated that it is one disgruntled former employee, but we will provide several, current, as well as several former, employees who I should say, worked for CPS, until this morning, when the Administrator fired them. We will also show specifically, with witnesses, that Mr. Reynolds, not only put the child that was in his care, in great jeopardy, not once but twice, in less than 24 hours, to the point that the child actually died briefly, before being resuscitated successfully. We will also show Mr. Reynolds then took the child, from the first incident and tried to claim it as his own. The supposed child, who was rescued in the second incident, was also taken by Mr. Reynolds, as his own, without any approval from appropriate agencies, and against the wishes of those who did have custody of him. Finally, we will show that the minor child, known as Derek, was being sexually molested, by his older brother, Chris, and Mr. Reynolds, along with the administrator of CPS, colluded to hide, and along with the mother, condone those activities. Going so far as to arrest the father of the children, who was simply trying to stop it, and protect his youngest child, from predation. We will show that Mr. Reynolds, for whatever purposes fabricated charges against the boy's father, and took the children essentially into his custody, along with the mother, with the assistance and cooperation of the director of CPS." he finally finished, as I saw red.

The state attorney went over and sat down, while the judge just looked at him. 

"Tell me why Mr. Reynolds did all this?" the judge asked mildly.

The State's Attorney looked surprised, at the question, and didn't answer for a moment, while Kendall just continued to stare at him.

"Umm, well your Honor, umm it would be rather speculative at this point to ummm...." until the judge interrupted him.

"Well, most of what you said, is speculative, so why don't you tell me where you're going with this." he told the attorney.

"Your honor, frankly, he is a single male with a young boy in his charge, who condones sexual molestation, and now has contrived to procure 4 other children, we can't but wonder why."

"I see." the judge said, and nothing else, which worried me.

The State's Attorney, one Miles Jennings, seemed to relax at that, and a small smile appeared on his face, while I became increasingly worried.

"Your turn," Kendall said, motioning to our table. The CA looked over at Alan, before standing up and beginning. 

"Your honor, we will show these to be baseless allegations..." he began.

"I just told the other side, that I'll do the deciding, on this." the judge stated.

"Umm, sorry, your honor. I'm not sure how to put this then, as our evidence counters their claims." the CA said.

"Just go on, I get the point." the judge said.

Now it was the County Attorney who was sweating, as he continued, "We will show that the CPS, in this region, has not acted in a manner inconsistent with established child welfare guidelines, and certainly not abused anything. We will show that the witnesses in question, are products of an outmoded, and harmful outlook, as regards the welfare of children, and those who were terminated, were done so, for ample reason, with numerous opportunities to correct their actions, being given. We will show that Mr. Reynolds is validly licensed for fostering, including emergency placement, therefore Peter was supposed to be with him, and CPS was notified immediately of that fact, and approved. We will also show that Samuel did not act with the foreknowledge or consent of Mr. Reynolds, in either incident. We will show that Mr. Reynolds took Brian with him initially, in his capacity as a police officer, because he was the victim of the attack, and that it was when the child was asked for contact information on his parents, that Mr. Reynolds found out about the boy's situation, at the foster home, and immediately contacted CPS. The child was placed with Mr. Reynolds at that point by CPS, which they had the authority to do. Mr. Reynolds never 'stole' any children. As to the absurd charges, regarding child molestation, and CPS, as well as Mr. Reynolds, that is quite easy to prove your honor. We can, and will show that the stepfather, repeatedly, and over a course of time, abused both boys, and it was only when he found them engaged in normal childhood sexual play, that he lost control, and inflicted massive injuries, on the elder child. There was never any protection of anyone, other than himself, and these claims are simply another attempt at that. Thank you your honor." he finished and sat down.

The judge was looking at our table, and motioned with his hand 

Alan stood up. 

"Your honor, I represent Mr. Reynolds, in this proceeding. I find these allegations not only disgusting, but considering that if the state had bothered to do the slightest amount of investigation, at all, it would have found them to be utterly and completely false, and their conduct, frankly is negligent, in the best case, and criminally malicious, at worst. I especially find the comments of Mr. Jennings, to be repugnant and slanderous at the very least. My client at no time deliberately, or by negligence, placed his child at risk. Samuel made the choice to help two children in need wholly and completely on his own and Mr. Reynolds, while applauding his son's caring and compassion for another, was devastated on both occasions, at his son's actions. Mr. Reynolds took Peter in, following those events, following all proper protocols, he did not kidnap him, as some have implied, in these proceedings. Mr. Reynolds also became aware of the dismal living conditions, which Brian was in, and requested the boy's custody, through proper channels, within CPS. He also at no time kidnapped him, or anything of the like. The whole situation with Chris and Derek, my client found out by accident, when Samuel was admitted to the hospital room, Chris was in. Chris had a broken arm, broken leg, numerous bruises, and some minor internal injuries, along with a concussion. With several of the children of Mr. Reynolds, befriending the boy, that boy finally asked for help, from my client, and related the horrible home life he and his brother suffered under. Mr. Reynolds went to the boy's home, to arrest the step, and I want to point out, that this isn't the father, but the step father, and was attacked by him, at which time he used necessary force, to subdue him, and place him into custody. The stepfather then contacted a woman, who CPS has had problems with, concocting a story that is patently false, in an attempt to avoid prosecution. The stepfather was in no way protecting anyone but himself. When the woman in question, showed up at the hospital refusing to listen to anything anyone had to say, about the situation, the director of CPS, who was present terminated her with cause. You will hear a lot about the sex, involved between the two boys, but your honor, there is normal sexual play; that often occurs between children, and siblings, and we will show that this is all it was. The father had nothing to protect anyone from, except himself, which he never did. Thank you your honor." Alan finished and retook his seat.

The judge looked back and forth between us before speaking, "Mr. Jennings, do you have a single solitary fact to present, besides pure conjecture and speculation, even one?"

Mr. Jennings was sputtering, clearly, shocked at this turn of events, and the judge's obvious opinion on this whole thing, while I tried desperately to keep a smile off of my face.

Yes!

"Your honor, I am sorry you feel that the welfare of two children is..."

"CUT THE CRAP, and answer the question." the judge rudely interrupted.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say sir," Mr. Jennings finally mumbled.

"Oh, I don't know, how about yes or no, that shouldn't be too difficult for you." he told them. 

"Well you honor, we have a lot of facts to present, so I am not sure what you mean." the attorney snidely said, which was not the thing to do, as the judge sat up suddenly, and very coldly said,

"Mr. Jennings, do you take me for a fool, or something?" and then before he could answer went on.

"I have read police reports, CPS reports, hospital reports, court reports, and numerous statements, including statements, regarding the incidents involving Samuel. While I don't condone what he did, the kid shows he was raised right, and certainly has a brass set, and it shows he must have received a lot of love, to act the way he did. I have heard audio testimony taken from Chris, Derek, and their mother, detailed testimony I might add. I have also seen numerous pictures of the children, from head to toe, taken by the police, hospital, and CPS. I have also been provided with the video tape footage, of the entire interview of Mrs. Higginbottom, who it seems, has conveniently disappeared. Now, with all of this, unless you are going to try to allege some vast conspiracy, I see absolutely nothing that looks remotely like that little thing called a fact, Mr. Jennings. All I see, frankly, is some woman, who has a hair up her butt, about single fathers raising children, and sex, which if you knew a damn thing, is normal with children, sir. So I will ask once again, do you have a fact that you can present, or is it all innuendo and insinuation?"

"We have facts, your honor." he said, in reply, clearly not happy.

"Ok, I'm listening." he replied.

"Umm, well I'm not really prepared with all of them, at the moment, sir." was his answer.

"Why did I think that would be the case?" the judge said rhetorically. 

I was in heaven; it looked like my family might be returned to me sooner than I thought.

"Anything else?" he asked, and when there was silence, he said "fine, I'll be back shortly." We all hastily rose, as he made his exit.

Mr. Jennings did not look in the least bit happy, as we sat back down, and I glanced in his direction, he shot us a dirty look.

I was sorely tempted to give him more than a look, but just smiled back at him, which actually may have been for the best, as he definitely didn't like that.

We sat there quietly waiting, until finally, with no fanfare, the judge walked backed in calling,

"Stay seated, stay seated." as he walked up and took his seat.

"Well, I'll make this short and sweet, I have seen absolutely nothing, with a capital N, that makes me think any of the crap, from Mr. Jennings, is remotely true, or even close to it. Certainly I have seen nothing that warrants granting any of the motions before me, this afternoon. So in case you didn't get that all the emergency motions requested by the State, are denied!" 

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, and even more so the defeated look on Mr. Jennings' face, as the judge continued, "But in the interest of putting this to rest for Mr. Reynolds sake, I think that a full hearing is in order, to consider everything, so while I am not granting the state's requests as to custody, and such I will hold a full hearing, and hear what they have to say, is that clear Mr. Jennings?" 

"Your honor, we don't request the court to conduct the investigation, proper authorities are more than capable..."

"Mr. Jennings, did you hear me ask you if you wanted a hearing?" the judge once again interrupted him, asking.

I watched as Mr. Jennings shook his head, and the judge went on.

"Good, I didn't think I had. Now we will reconvene tomorrow, at 1 PM and Mr. Jennings, you can present any and all evidence at that time, and if you actually manage to find a fact somewhere, please bring it with you. I would like to see it. This case will be resolved tomorrow, one way or the other, and it will be the end of it, is that clear Mr. Jennings?" 

"Yes your honor." he replied.

"Very well, anything else?" he asked.

"Your honor?" Alan spoke up.

"Yes?" 

"Your honor, considering the actions of the state today, I would like to request a restraining order, and a cease and desist order, against the state, and any and all officers of the state, barring them from contact with my client, or the children." Alan finished.

"I think that's a bit much don't you?" he asked.

"No your honor, I don't. The state tried to take custody of the children forcefully, and threatened my client with kidnapping amongst other things, in an effort to get them, your honor." Alan told him.

"Really?" the judge asked, clearly of Mr. Jennings, who had paled considerably.

"Umm, I believe they were going to interview the children sir nothing more," he told the court. 

"Your honor, I have tape recorded conversations, between Sgt. Johnson, of the state police, and my client, where my client was told that the state demanded he turn all the children over to them, and that he had orders to take them into custody. My client in these conversations, was advised he would be arrested, for kidnapping, and interstate flight, in the course of felony kidnapping, bringing in the FBI, and making it a federal offense."

"Really, Mr. Jennings?" the judge said.

"Yes your honor," he replied.

"Let me get this straight, the state told this man, that they already had an order of custody issued for the children, and threatened him with kidnapping, if he didn't turn them over?"

"Ummm," Jennings tried to reply.

"Tthat's really funny, considering I haven't issued one, and just told you I wouldn't, in the hearing for it." the judge said, very mildly.

"Umm...well, I..ah.. believe..."

"I'll give you a hint, Mr. Jennings, you believe wrong." the judge said coldly.

"In light of this, I am issuing both orders, and let me make it clear, that if anyone acting for the state, gets within 1 mile of those children, or Mr. Reynolds, I will throw them, and you Mr. Jennings, in jail. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes your honor." Mr. Jennings clearly shaken, replied.

"Very well then, see you tomorrow at 1PM, and I would like the children present, so I may speak with them." the judge ordered

"Your honor," Al quickly said,

"Yes?"

"Umm, well my client, having full custodial rights to the children, and considering..."

"Please cut the BS and get to the point counselor," Kendall said. 

Al looked a bit queasy, but bravely went on, "My client is er...well he's taken the children on vacation," he quickly finished.

The judge looked intently at him for a moment, and then shocked everyone by laughing, before saying,

"I think I want to meet this client of yours sometime. I will take it that the vacation is not around here?" he said.

"Not exactly," Al replied nervously.

"Your honor?" Mr. Jennings interjected.

"Yes Mr. Jennings."

"The state would like to request an order to appear be issued, your honor?" he said.

"I'm sure they would" the judge replied as Al coughed slightly

"Yes?" the judge asked.

"They're not readily available to appear your honor?" he said, wincing slightly.

"And why would that be?" the judge asked.

"Well, they kind of are out of the country," Al softly said.

"Out of the country?" the judge asked pointedly,

"Mmm, yes your honor." Al told him.

"How far 'out of the country'?" he asked, pinning Al with his stare.

Al fidgeted for a moment, but under that unrelenting stare he finally said "Russia."

The judge just got this incredulous look on his face, before saying "Did you just say Russia, as in the Soviet Union?"

"Mm, yes your honor." Al replied.

Kendall looked floored, but finally began laughing softly, before saying, "I have got to meet this man, court adjourned." as he stood up.

"Russia," he just kept repeating, as he started to exit the bench, shaking his head.

As he got to the end of the elevated portion, he turned back and said "oh Mr. Jennings." 

Whose head snapped up, as he said, "Yes your honor."

And then in a friendly conversational tone, "Just thought I'd let you know, that I hope the state has good insurance, and I also thought you might want to know, that I am a single man, who has adopted four young boys. I sincerely hope you don't show up on my doorstep, thinking I'm screwing them, too." and then he walked off the stage, and through his door, leaving dead silence in his wake.

I was watching a now very pale, and sickly looking Mr. Jennings, who looked like he might faint at any moment, as Al said to me,

"Well Eric, I guess we have some calls to make," while I just smiled.

We sure did.