You Ain't Santa

As we were eating dinner, Nathan commented, "Mr. and Mrs. McTavish, this meal is really good.  Everything is great.  Where did you get the meat?"

Tessa was surprised, "Thank you, Nathan.  It's nice to know that someone appreciates my cooking.  The meat came from one of the cows that was raised here on Belle Monte. The vegetables and the fruit were grown here as well."

Shane giggled, "If it weren't for dairy goods, bread, cereal and baking items, we wouldn't ever get to go to the grocery store."

Bruce laughed, "Shane, I'm sure that you would find some reason to go to the grocery store.  You need to keep your stock of soda replenished somehow.  If everyone is free this evening, it would probably be a good time for everyone to explain exactly what everybody does and is responsible for doing around here." 

Ryan interrupted the discussion, "Dads, we need to go check on the kittens.  Mr. Cisco isn't really going to bring us two puppies in the morning, is he?"

Brandon volunteered, "Ryan, Will and I'll take you to check on the kittens after we take care of the dishes.  That way your Dads and Grandparents can talk with the Mr. and Mrs. McTavish, Mr. and Mrs. Fort, Vince, Alex and your Uncle Bruce  and Mr. George."

Chase asked, "Why don't you bring the kittens here and then you wouldn't have to worry about them?  We have other cats that live here, but they don't come in the house."

The guys made quick work of clearing the table so the rest of us could talk.

Bruce looked at me, "Kirk, since you are technically the boys' father,  Do you have any specific questions that you would like to ask?"

"I do have one that has nothing to do with the operation of Belle Monte.  Eva, Ryan and Nate mentioned last night that you were home schooling  Evan and Chase.  Is there a problem with the school system that the boys will be attending."

Eva answered, "Kirk, the reason I'm home schooling the guys has nothing to do with the school system.  In fact, the system that they will be attending is very highly rated.  The reason I started to home school the boys this year is that just before school was to start last fall, Evan fell and fractured his left leg in two places."  It was nearly impossible for him to maneuver, and in fact he was in a wheelchair for the first month of school."

Eva continued, "Since I am a certified teacher, it was easy for me to make provisions to home school the boys.  The district even provided the materials that I would need.  In fact, I meet each week with the first and third grade teachers during their planning periods.  We were going to send the boys back to school starting next week because they need to be around people their own ages."

I wasn't liking what I was hearing, "Eva and Charles, have you finalized those arrangements yet?"

Charles shook his head no, "The boys are resisting going back to school."

Mom Thornton was rubbing her nose, "Eva and Charles, would you still send Evan and Chase back to school if Eva was asked to home school our two grandsons?  I really think they probably need the opportunity to catch up with their peers before they would return to the public schools.  Your two sons would be able to assist the boys.  Kirk, why don't you explain why the boys are behind."

Eva raised her eyebrows after I explained that Ryan had not been to school this year at all, and Nate had not gone to school since before Thanksgiving.

Eva nodded, "Kirk and Dan, I would be glad to home school the two boys.  Our sons will be thrilled to have someone to work with.  I have become friends with the school psychologist and would like for her to meet the guys and do some testing so I have some idea where they are, academically."

Dan replied, "Be our guests, and we'll pay her whatever she charges."

Bruce interrupted, "Excuse me, Dan, but I believe the boys' estate will be able to withstand the cost of any testing.  Ian and Chuck, perhaps this would be a good time for you to get the latest financial figures that you have.  In the meantime, Vince and Alex can explain how they fit into the scheme of things around here."

Our discussion was interrupted by the arrival of Nate and Will.  Nate asked, "Dads, the guys want to know if we're going to spend the night here or at the other house.  Uncle Will and Uncle Brandon need to be someplace by nine o'clock."

I looked at Dan, and he shrugged his shoulders.  I made a command decision, "We'll spend the night at the condo, so we can make sure the kittens are okay."

My Dad spoke up, "Will, we grandparents will be there to relieve you so you can be wherever you need to be at nine o'clock."

Will turned to Vince and Alex, "We'll see you at nine.  John and Bill are on first tonight."

After Will, Brandon and the two boys had departed, Bruce looked at Vince and Alex, "Why don't the two of you explain what you do around here?"

Vince sighed, "We're the lackeys around here.  We just do whatever everyone tells us to do.  They work us so hard that we're all skin and bones.  We try to make sure that everything is running smoothly and spend an awful lot of time on our knees pleading for Money Bags McTavish to spring for some new equipment.  By the time Miser Fort gives us our paycheck each month, our vehicles are sucking air to run."

Bruce couldn't handle anymore B.S. and called a halt to the proceedings.  "You two need to learn to be serious.  What roles are you playing tonight?"

The two guys were laughing.  Alex answered, "I'm going to be Farmboy Al and Vince is going to be Doctor Do."

Bruce waved at the two guys, "Guys, go have a good time and we'll see you tomorrow.  Don't get too drunk."

After Vince and Alex departed, Dan's and my parents decided they needed to go take care of Ryan and Nate.  That left Tessa and Ian McTavish, Eva and Charles Fort, Bruce and George and Dan and me at the table.

Ian looked at Dan and me, "Guys, you don't realize what an important part of Belle Monte Vince and Will are.  They are so effacing.  They are the glue that makes everything work here at Belle Monte.  They came here shortly after I was hired when they were sixteen.  That was ten years ago.  I took a chance on them and I have never regretted that decision."

"My only regret is that Vince didn't go on to veterinarian school.  He decided that once he got his degree in animal husbandry, they need to get Alex through college.  Alex will be receiving his master's degree in May.  If they should decide to leave at that point, it will leave a big void here at Belle Monte."

Bruce looked at the people around the table, "Ladies and gentlemen, we didn't progress as far as I had hoped tonight.  "Chuck and Ian, please give Kirk and Dan a copy of the financials and we can continue this meeting tomorrow.  I need to take Kirk and Dan to see what it is that their young friends and employees are doing."

Dan had the audacity to ask, "Why are we receiving two sets of figures?"

Bruce answered without any reservation, "Because, Ian is in charge of the finances here at Belle Monte.  Charles is in charges of all of the funds and is a fully certified  C.P. A. and handles all of the taxes for the estate.  Now, let's get going or we'll miss John and Bill's act.  They never do the same thing twice."

We followed Bruce and George to the downtown area.  We parked in a parking lot across from what looked to be a run down warehouse. There was a big blinking neon sign was blinking, 'THE GOLDEN NUGGETS.'

When we entered, it was very plush.  I was surprised to see the crowd that was there.  It was equally divided between men and women and they weren't necessarily together as couples.  The host met us and he obviously knew Bruce because he took us to a table close to the stage.  We had no more than gotten situated when the emcee approached the microphone, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have our all star performers with us this evening.  J. and B, will be the first performers."

I was amazed when Elf John appeared in a prisoner's uniform with a ball and chain.  The music was playing 'Working on the Chain Gang.'  He was wiping his forehead as if he were sweating and started to gyrate around the stage removing his outfit until he was only wearing in a pair of fancy briefs that left nothing to the imagination.  I was totally unprepared for what happened.  Men and women were approaching him and stuffing bills in his briefs.

His friend Bill arrived to the music of 'Here Comes The Sheriff.'  It wasn't long until his briefs were being stuffed with bills. 

John and Will left and the emcee announced, "Next up are Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid."

Brandon and Will appeared and started backing toward each other while gyrating to the music.  They accidentally on purpose backed into each other and dropped the guns they were carrying. As they were doing their routine, Bruce leaned over to me and whispered.  "Now that I have met these two young men, I am more amazed at how handsome they are.  I would guess that their parents might be absolutely shocked to find out how they make the money they do.  They are more than strippers, they're entertainers."

There was a crowd around the stage waiting to stuff the guys briefs.  I was thinking to myself, 'I bet many of the people just want to cop a feel of the guys' equipment.  I wonder if Vince and Alex are as well endowed as Brandon and Will?'

Will and Brandon disappeared and the emcee announced, "Here to entertain you are Farmer Al and Doctor Do."

They had a very clever routine and they were, indeed, very nicely endowed.  The show was ended and the six guys arrived at the table in clean clothes and Brandon explained, "We always take a shower after we have performed since we're never sure what kind of germs the people who touched us might have."

Dan asked, "Guys, why haven't you told your parents how you make your money?"

Vince chuckled, "I can see it now, if my mother were to see what I was doing, she would probably have a nervous breakdown.  I can hear her lamenting, 'My son's a stripper!'"

I started to laugh, "Guys, I think you are all wrong about how your parents would react.  Remember, Dan and I have met most of your parents.  I think that perhaps you should stop thinking of yourselves as strippers.  After seeing you tonight, I think you should think of yourselves as entertainers."

Alex was frowning, "I suppose you will be firing us now that you know what we do?"

Both Dan and I started to speak; I let Dan do the talking, "Why would we fire you?  What you do in your free time is none of our business unless it impacts on you are doing your jobs or would be injurious to the children.  Shane and Shawn and the Fort boys haven't seemed to suffer because of what you do."

Bruce changed the subject, "What was the haul tonight?  It looked as if was a generous crowd."

Brandon started to chuckle, "That's a nice way of saying that they were a very touchy, feely crowd.  I made over $200.00.  Speaking of which, Dr. Richter and Doctor Thornton, what are you going to do with the condo now that you will probably be moving to Belle Monte?"

Bruce interrupted, "There's no probably about them moving to Belle Monte.  Why did you ask, Brandon?  You must have something in mind."

Brandon grinned, "Will and I were hoping, that perhaps, we could rent it with an option to buy once we are graduated.  John and Bill are interested in moving in with us, so we could split the rent and bills four ways.  We would have asked Vince and Alex to join us,  but they already have the perfect setup at Belle Monte."

I was stunned by this conversation, "Guys, you're asking us about something that we hadn't even thought about.  Everything has been happening so fast since I met Nathan at the mall just before Christmas."

Bruce laughed, "The guys just solved one of your problems.  Now you have no excuse for not moving to Belle Monte immediately."

Vince stood, "Come on, let's get out of here and go get a pizza."

Dan and I declined the invitation as did Bruce and George.  When Dan and I arrived at the condo, it was dark except for a small light in the hallway which we kept on all the time; so we assumed that everyone was probably asleep.

Dan plopped down on the sofa, "Kirkie, I'm overwhelmed to say the least."

I sat down beside Dan, "Don't feel like The Lone Ranger.  We need to sit down and go through all of the financial information we received today.  I think we can safely say that our sons are not the poorest boys on the planet.  You know we still know almost nothing about any of the players.  Instead of getting any questions answered, more questions keep popping up."

Dan put his arm around me, "Like what Kirk?"

"Like, why did Ian and Tessa take Vince and Alex in when they were sixteen?   Why is Charles working as a handyman if he is cerfied public accountant?  Why didn't Tessa and Ian raise the two boys after their father died?  And finally, exactly what is the relationship between Bruce and George?    Danny, I'm sure you must have some questions too."

Dan hugged me, "Kirkie, be patient.  I'm sure we'll find out the answers to those questions and many more.  Now let's get our butts to bed.  The boys will probably have us awake at the crack of dawn."

We went into the room and started to undress.  We didn't turn on the lights for fear of waking the boys.  We heard Nathan ask, "Dads, why didn't I remember the big house, but I remembered the cabin on the mountain?"

"Dads, me and Ryan have been talking and we have a bunch questions."

Another voice was heard from. "Dads, me and Nathan want to know when we're going to be moving?  Can we take Hodge and Podge with us?"

I turned on the light, "Why don't you two boys get into our bed and we'll talk after we take our shower and brush our teeth."

The two boys jumped and ran to the bathroom.  When Dan and I walked into the bathroom, both boys were brushing their teeth and Nate mumbled, "We forgot to brush our teeth."

We were finally settled in the bed when Ryan turned toward me and held my face with both of his hands, "Daddy, you promise you won't 'vorce' us, don't you?"

"Guys, I promise you that Dad Dan and I aren't going to let you get away.  Now let's go to sleep."

Editor's notes: 

It was beginning to sound like an episode of SOAP. 'These and many more questions will be answered on the next episode of... SOAP.'

Seriously, It really does look as if things are looking up for everyone concerned.  I am on pins and needles, waiting for the next chapter.